It's Not Easy Being A Fool
by PsychoticSushi
Summary: Emily's a teen witch- the clumsiest one around, too. When another mishap launches her into Death City, a place from her nightmares, she finds Medusa isn't as dead as they say. Will Emily be able to keep the DWMA's trust once she sparks her attention?
1. ENTER: Emily, Maka, & Stick Boy!

**Hello there! Okay, so I just finished watching the anime, and I just had a sudden stroke of inspiration. I'm a little wary on whether or not I did Maka and Soul right, but that'll get better with more chapps.**

**Unfortunately, I haven't been able to read the manga yet, so I best warn you now that this is set post-ANIME. **

**Now that that's settled...read, review, ENJOY! :)**

* * *

"Are you doing another séance? Huh? Can I get you anything? CAN I WATCH? Oh, please please please PLEEEEAAASE say I can watch!" the younger girl pleaded, her friend nodding like crazy.

"Me too? Oh, please say yes! IT'D BE YOUTUBE GOLD!" Both of the girls had stars in their eyes, looking at them admiringly.

Emily chuckled and looked to her sister, who lit a cigarette. "And this is why I wish the Salem Witch Trials would make a comeback; we'd be _hung _by now and wouldn't have to listen to all the buzzing from the flies." The two schoolgirls drooped rather comically with "EHHH?" noises.

Emily sighed. "Um...what Apples _means_ to say is that –"

"Whoa, wait...Your name's APPLES? THAT'S SO AWESOME!" they exclaimed, practically bouncing as they attempted to catch up to the sisters.

Apples' temple throbbed. "And what I _mean to say_ is that we want you to get lost." She took a drag of the extremely tempting-looking cigarette before leaning close to their faces.

Emily tried not to roll with laughter as she slowly blew the smoke out of her plump red lips; their expressions as the smoke billowed and formed the shape of a snake around their necks were priceless. They _seriously_ feared for their lives.

"So if _I_ were y'all, I'd do just that."

They just blinked at them for a second, and Apples sighed. "Emily? You seem to speak their language. Translate, will ya?"

She smirked and nodded. "Please...get...LOST! GONE! HASTA LA VISTA! GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK! STOP CHEWING THAT GUM, IT'S DISGUSTING!" Emily shouted at the top of her lungs, a cat yowling down the alley they were beside and a kiosk's contents springing off their platform, launching towards the girls and hitting their legs.

The two girls ran off squealing, and the sisters laughed. "They sound like little piggies!"

Apples patted her head. "Nicely done. Cigarette?"

Emily shook her head. "You know I'm trying to quit, _Appoline_," she grumbled.

"You _know_ I hate it when you use my full name," she growled, getting right in her face.

"And _you_ _know_ I hate it when you tempt me with damn cigarettes!" Emily retorted, returning the bared-teeth look her sister was currently sporting.

They stayed like that for a moment, trying to stare each other down as a slight breeze stirred up around them from their clashing auras, before resuming their usual stances casually. "Alright. We'll call it a draw."

"Fine by me."

"Hey! Emily damn _Bishop_, that's the third time this week!" Manny scolded, shaking his fist while picking up some of his poor scattered merchandise with his other.

Apples pouted at him innocently, leaning forward and moving her arms so her bust was even more noticeable from within her orange scoopneck top. Exponentially noticeable, in fact. Emily's temple throbbed, glancing down at her own not-so-well-endowed chest. Stupid B cups of hers, how do they compete with Ds? They don't, _that's_ how.

"Can't you give her a break, Manny? You _know_ she's still not an expert when it comes to controlling her magic," she scolded mockingly, batting her eyelashes. Emily nodded quickly, widening her brown eyes innocently.

Manny's temple throbbed, and he huffed before resuming his clean-up. "The only reason I go easy on you is 'cause the police would never take my complaints seriously. Trust me, I tried."

"We _know_!" they snapped before walking off, ignoring him as he let out a string of Puerto Rican curses at them. The two sisters turned on the next alley, taking the back streets that only curious tourists (or schoolgirls, apparently) were foolish enough to even come close to. Everyone in Salem knew it was witch turf, and not those crappy witches who insist they need money or a camera present for their magic to work, or the ones who put on live shows for those hourds of people with visors and fanny packs. No, this was the market run by the real deal. The ones who did magic for _themselves_, and for the well-being of that natural affinity lurking in their auras.

Where any witch good enough to _call_ herself one around her fellow witches got her goods.

"Emmy."

"Yeah?"

"You have everything you need for tonight?" Apples asked, glancing through the windows of the black magic shops they passed. Emily's forehead creased slightly with worry. She didn't like the slowly-developing twinkle in her sister's eyes that flashed while Apples was gazing at black magic stores.

Black magic was something their family had never meddled with. That was a line they understood not to cross. "I _should_...we still have The Book, don't we?"

"Yeah...and plenty of candles, but..."

Emily sighed and grabbed her by the crook of her elbow, dragging her past the store. "Stop gawking! You're startin' to drool."

_**HOURS **_LATER_**...**_

"Hmm hmmm hum hum hm hmm whipped _creeeeeeaaam_," Emily sang to herself as she twirled around the kitchen, eating her beloved whipped cream straight from the Reddi Whip can.

The way it was _intended_ to be eaten. Anyone with a brain stem knew that! "And I happen to _have_ a brain stem. A pretty fricking thick one!" she declared, pointing her thumb at herself and managing to prick her thumb with the dagger she had been attempting to put on the table.

"Ow! Crap!"

"Yeah. Brain stem my _ass_," Apples replied as she descended gracefully down the stairs. Emily rolled her eyes while sucking her poor hurt thumb.

Her sister always dressed up for these things. Tonight she was wearing a midnight black dress with a plunging neckline, complete with her hair running wild and free in all its long, curly, bright purple glory.

Now, _she_ looked the part of a witch. Especially with the way her ivory skin seemed to glow thanks to the contrasting colors of her evening wear.

As for Emily? She was wearing her pajamas – her black t-shirt that read "There are 3 Ninjas on this shirt [try to find them]" with a ninja star flying past the "j" in ninjas, sky blue boxers with yellow five-pointed stars all over them, and her Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles houseshoes.

As for her hair, she had somehow managed to swoop her messy and stubborn auburn hair into braided pigtails, her right side-bangs held back by a black barette.

They weren't exactly a work of art, those pigtails, but as long as her hair was out of her face. Apples sighed and shook her head after noticing Emily's outfit. "And yet, I'm still surprised. At least lemme dye your hair, _please_? Just _one_ little streak?" she practically begged, tugging on her younger sister's braid.

Emily's eye twitched menacingly as a ton of strands of her hair sprung out to the side of her braid, making a random _**DOING**_ noise as they did so.

"...Just check the time, alright? It's gotta be done _right_ at midnight!"

"I know, I know. _I've_ completed this correctly before, _remember_? Jeez," Apples muttered as she clomped off in her stupid orange heels to do Emily's bidding. "Here I am, the big sister, and she's ordering me around."

"Well, unlike you, _I_ still can't control my magic. Therefore, you don't wanna piss me off, _remember_? I FAIL AT CONTROLLING MAGIC, HEAR ME ROAR!"

"Shut up!"

Emily just snickered, eating some more whipped cream. Which resulted in Apples whacking her upside the head with a candle. "Moron, don't stuff your face with the stuff! You're supposed to draw the pentagram on the top right corner!"

"I know what to do, dammit!" she shouted after nearly choking on the damned whipped cream.

"Then _do_ it!"

"Fine."

"Fine."

"FINE!" Emily shouted, shaking the can and spraying a rather wonky pentagram on the top right corner of the atlas. That "Practical Magic" movie was right on _that_ count; whipped cream was always a good resource for pentagram-drawing. Instead of doing a séance, something Emily excelled at, Apples demanded they try a transportation technique, something _she _excelled at.

Last time _Emily _had tried it with her, she and Apples had ended up in Alaska. Wearing bathing suits since they had been aiming for Hawaii.

Yeah, good times. This time she'd be attempting it _alone_, which made it all the more important she successfully get there. _Getting there_ right would mean she could risk trying to come _back_ right. If not...

"I still don't get the point of a transportation technique. Why would a witch want to use it when you can just use a broom?" Emily whined as her sister lit up another cigarette. She tried to avoid looking at the object between those two long fingers as Apples lifted it to her lips and took an impatient puff of it.

"Because once you _master _it, you don't need to use all the extra supplies. You can just think of the place in your head, and bam! You're there. Unless you're Emily Bishop – she seems to have an uncanny ability to screw up every single trick known to witchkind," she teased innocently, holding out the crystal with her free hand.

Emily's temple throbbed, eye twitching slightly. Too bad her sister was the only one she didn't dare hit; figures she'd be the one to piss Emily off the most.

It didn't make it any easier that Appoline was a senior in high school. Therefore, she had ultimate seniority anywhere they went. Luckily, it seemed Emily was better off in high school society, so that was one thing she had going for her. She didn't curse people and use magic against them everywhere she went, unlike _some people_... She snapped herself out of her thoughts, snatching the crystal by the chain it was dangling from.

Apples rolled her eyes and looked pointedly at the atlas. "Just hurry up and do it. Now, close your eyes and just breathe." Emily nodded before hopping up on the counter, crossing her legs and holding the crystal above the atlas. She closed her eyes and let the crystal rotate slightly.

"Loosen your grip on the crystal's chain. The more distanced from yourself you become, the faster the crystal will move, wanting to get you to your destination. Once the clock strikes midnight, make _sure_ that you're thinking specifically of where you want to be. That means no random thoughts right as the clock strikes midnight this time, Em."

"Shut up, you're breaking my concentration," she growled.

"You need all you can get," Apples muttered under her breath.

"Then shut up and lemme concentrate!"

* * *

It was dead silent for the next five minutes. Nothing but Emily's breathing; the crystal's chain didn't even make a sound as it lazily rotated.

"You're not thinking hard enough," Apples murmured. _She sounds worried, that must mean midnight's coming soon._

"Shh!"

"I'm just sayin', you might wanna-"

"Shhh!" Emily hissed again, trying to focus on a place that actually existed. She kept thinking about the dream she'd been having lately.

More like a nightmare.

One with a woman with snake tattoos on her arms, and a moon with bloody gums chuckling down at them. One where Emily lay dying on a cobblestone street, blood pooled around her. Dying from a snakebite? There was always a snake slithering away from her, so that was the only real explanation she could come up with.

Then again, it _was_ a dream. "SO FOCUS ON AN ACTUAL PLACE, DUMBASS!" Emily shouted at herself, making Apples jump. Her little sister could feel the jolt from here, that little flicker of heightened magic aura. Appoline always immediately summoned magic when surprised, she was so paranoid.

Emily smirked at her sister's flinch, eyes still closed. "You need to learn how to relax, sis. I don't bite."

"Will you please just _concentrate_, dammit?" Apples scolded. Emily could practically see her temple throbbing, which only made her smirk grow.

But she tried, she really did. Every time she'd think of that dream, though, she started pondering over it. As a witch, she knew that every dream she had _meant _something. Especially a witch like her, one that had a so-called "incredibly" (annoyingly, if you asked her) heightened sixth sense. And that dream meant something very ominous, indeed. In fact, it could even be the sight of her death. _That tends to make my mind wander from the task at-_

_**DONG. DONG. DONG.**_

_...Hand._ "Crap!" Emily screeched as she felt her body tingling. "I thought about the wrong place! Appoline, help me! What do I do?"

"Okay, hurry and take the cryst-"

A sound that was similar to a gunshot rang through the air. Great. Of all times for her to actually succeed, she chose _now?_ There was blinding white light, and she felt like she was moving at warp speed while simultaneously going in circles.

The warmth of the candles that had been on both sides of her were gone, replaced by cold stone against her back. Her head hurt more than she'd ever thought possible. "Ugh...bloody hell," she groaned, deciding now was a good time to use a British cuss. Emily felt utterly drained, as if she had ran miles and miles.

So, instead of looking around, she squeezed her eyes shut even tighter and rolled over onto her stomach. She felt _nauseous_ on top of everything else, head pounding so loud it was like background noise.

"God..._dammit_. Another...epic failure for...Emily damn Bishop!"

_**MEANWHILE...**_

"Your day!"

"_Your_ day!"

"It's your day, I _swear_!"

Maka sighed heavily, temple throbbing. She turned her head up and to the side defiantly. "I'm not arguing over something so stupid with you, Soul," she declared in that superior tone of hers.

Soul smirked. "'Cause you know it's your day."

"IS NOT!" Maka exclaimed, making Soul a victim of her infamous Maka Chop yet again.

Blair sweatdropped from the kitchen counter. "Uh, guys, _I_ could always cook something!"

She was about to take Blair up on her offer, but then she felt it. That familiar blood-pounding sensation that came with _their_ presence. The presence of a witch. A strong one, and not one she was used to. And definitely not an untainted soul, either. "Soul...I think we've got a problem. Let's go," she stated simply.

He stomped after her while continuing to rub his head mournfully. "What kinda problem?"

"The witch kind."

He rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Cool. Dinner's finally served."

* * *

_**BACK ****WITH****EMILY****THE****UNSUSPECTING****MORON****...**_

After a few minutes of sitting against the cold cobblestone, she sighed heavily. "Guess I should get up now..."

Judging by the air, it _definitely_ wasn't Alaska. Emily may have lived in Salem with her sister and aunt for a year so far, but she had lived in New Orleans for fourteen. The weather felt like that, if not warmer, so she was pretty fricking hopeful that she had somehow managed to think of a real place at the last possible moment.

But then she rolled over and opened her eyes, and that damn bloody-gummed moon was the first thing to greet her. "No. _No_! No way! This isn't happening!" she wailed, pitching a huge fit. After successfully giving herself bloody knuckles from punching the ground too hard, she let out a whine. "This is where I'm gonna die. Isn't it?" she asked no one in particular as she looked around glumly.

If it _weren't_ where she was supposed to die, she would've found it pretty cool. It looked like she had stepped into a joint film Tim Burton was doing with the concept artist of Gorillaz. "Who is that again? The concept artist? ...Um...hm. I'll have to look that up on Google." That's when a truly horrific thought hit her. _...What if...they don't have Internet around here? What if there's no GOOGLE? Noooo, my life is officially OVER!_

"I think I'm gonna cry," she sniffled.

"I wouldn't blame you," a girl's voice said behind her. Emily turned around, eyes wide as she took her in. The girl had blonde hair in pigtails, and was wearing a black (rather dramatic-looking) coat with a short, red-and-black pleated skirt. Emily crossed her arms thoughtfully, cocking her head. "Any chance you remember where you got those shoes?"

The girl's green eyes flashed as she smirked; well, at least she found Emily entertaining. _It looks like Emily damn Bishop might not be a total magical failure after all! She might've managed to stumble across some help. __Maybe this chick knows the way back to a world without a psychotic moon, preferrably mine! ...Talk about counting chickens before they hatch..._

Her hands tightened around the object she was holding, which made Emily realize the girl was wielding a scythe.

Emily sweatdropped. "U-Umm...just what do you plan on using _that thing _for, huh?" she asked somewhat hysterically, having a good idea. It wasn't a comforting idea, either. It was rather ominous.

The girl smiled. "I'm glad you asked!" She shifted her feet, entering a position that was universely understood (even by Emily) as a Battle Stance. Emily gulped, backing up while still on her ass. "Oh, c'mon! What'd I do to _you_?"

She ignored that question. "Witch, your soul is _mine_!" she shouted, launching towards her.

"C-C-CRAAAAAP!" Emily shouted, rolling away from her spastically. The scythe's blade made sparks fly off the ground, which freaked poor Emily out even more. "Shit, shit, SHIT!"

The girl and her scythe sweatdropped as the witch attempted to hide behind a wall, repeating "They can't see me, they can't see me, I'm totally calm because they can't SEEE MEEEE..."

"Uh...we can see you?" the girl said uncertainly.

"What the hell kind of witch is _this_?" her weapon wondered, which confused Emily even more. _Since when do scythes talk? Damn, I must be imagining things – I really hit my head hard!_

"A stupid one, from the looks of it. Then again, she'd _have_ to be pretty stupid to turn off Soul Protect around here in the first place after all that's happened," the girl said thoughtfully.

Emily poked her head out from behind the wall. "Excuse me, what's Soul Protect? It sounds cool."

Cue further sweatdrops from her attackers. "U-Uhhh..."

"Maka, maybe she's trying to confuse us," her weapon said suddenly, as if the thought had just occurred to him. The Maka person tightened her grip again. _Man, she has cool gloves on top of it. She must mean business! CRAP!_

"Right! Let's just kill her and get it over with."

"Agreed. I'm starving. Hey, Maka, does her soul look tasty to you?"

"W-WHAAAT? I'M A HUMAN _BEING_, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! ...It's not _my_ fault my transportation spell failed," she muttered grudgingly after her little outburst.

"Then whose fault is it if _you're_ the one who cast the spell?"

Maka's temple throbbed, obviously ready to just kill her already. "Soul, whatever happened to your idea about her trying to trick us?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, couldn't resist."

Emily sighed as Maka prepared to lunge after her again. "Wait, wait, wait! ...Lemme take my houseshoes off. If you're gonna fight me, I don't wanna lose 'cause I tripped on my own shoes," she growled while taking off her beloved Ninja Turtle shoes. Maka lifted her feet slightly once the shoes were off, but jumped spastically once Emily barked, "I SAID WAIT, DAMMIT!".

Her weapon sweatdropped again as she waited. "You _listened_, Maka? To a witch?"

Emily stuck her tongue out at the weapon. "No one asked you, Stick Boy!"

"Stick Boy? The hell! For your information, I'm a _scythe_!"

"Looks like a stick to me."

"Yeah, well, see this blade? It's about to _cut you in half_! C'mon, Maka, let's get her!"

"Get her? _That's_ your big plan? 'Get her.' Wow, you're stupider than you look."

"You don't even know what I look like, you dumb witch!"

"You look like a STICK, Stick Boy, so stop giving me a headache and lemme set my shoes down in peace!"

His temple throbbed, while Maka had about five sweatdrops by this point. Emily then placed her shoes on a nearby crate neatly. She smiled to herself as she felt that familiar tingling throughout her whole body.

She may not be the best at spells, but she sure was better with charming things to help her, and using magic in general.

"There. Alright, _now_ you can try and kill me. But if you're stupid enough to touch those houseshoes right there..." Little zips of static danced off her fingertips, and Maka ground her left foot against the cobblestone as she resumed the same fighting stance as before.

"I just might have to kill _you_."


	2. I'll Kill You First!

**Back! Thanks for the faves, alerts, and reviews. I honestly wasn't expecting those so quickly.**

**I was gonna wait till tomorrow, but I'm about to work on the next chapp before I lose inspiration, and I knew it'd bug me if I didn't post this XD**

**Read, review, enjoy!**

* * *

Maka smirked again, tightening her grip. Again. Emily wondered if she did it consciously or unconsciously, it was happening quite often.

But then she didn't have much time to wonder about it, since Maka and her annoying-ass weapon lunged at her.

Emily jumped to the side, and she swung the blade end of the scythe to Emily's left. "HA! YOU MISSED M- OWWWWW!" she screeched after Maka used the blade to povalt, successfully kicking her in the gut.

Her head and back cracked against the ground, and she saw stars for a few seconds. But then Emily snapped out of it and decided it was a good time to bring in some magic.

With a twitch of her finger, the stones Maka were standing on went out from under her, floating in midair.

While she went down, Emily lifted that same finger before bringing it down. The stones cracked down in response, one on Maka's back and the other on her head. Hard.

While she got back on her feet, Emily made a run for it. It didn't take long for Maka to catch up, and the witch made a sharp turn into an alley.

"We've got her _now_," Maka informed her weapon smugly as they picked up speed. The alley was a dead end.

Emily started laughing. "You keep emphasizing the fact that I'm a witch, yet you expect a _dead end _to be too much for me?" she asked as she jumped from wall to wall, using magic to enhance her air time, and flipped onto the roof.

_Finally, gymnastics pay off!_

Maka wasn't far behind, which made Emily groan. "Will you _please_ just let me be on my way? I haven't done anything _wrong_, dammit!"

"I'M _HUNGRY_, DAMMIT!" the scythe replied. "Maka, hurry up so I can eat!"

"YOU try running after her!" Maka replied as Emily used magic to pick up her pace, getting ready to jump.

_Oh, hell yeah. I've wanted to jump across a rooftop since Spider Man movie came out! ...Ah, the video game was pretty fun, too..._

Emily halted her Inner Reminisce Moment, the jump less than five feet away. It was time to concentrate.

_One...two... _"THREE!" she shouted, magic coming out like shocks from her fingertips and her bare feet as she leapt into the air.

"Holy crap. Holy CRAP, I did it! I'm fricking _awesome_! I'm like Toby Maguire in Spider Man, but without the special effects! Yeah! How do you like THAT, Hollywood! Yeah, you – GAH!"

The blade of that stupid scythe had hooked around her ankle as Maka made the jump, having jumped too short.

So that ensured Emily would be coming down with her. The ONE TIME she totally aced something.

"...Damn you! On top of all this, you just _had _to ruin my epic win!" Emily shouted as they went down. She landed on top of the stupid blade, and guess which side was up against her cheek.

Yep.

"Oh great, I'm bleeding! I'm fricking BLEEDING, do you SEE what you DID! This is the_ least_ friendliest city I've ever _been_ to!" Emily ranted, kicking the blade end of the scythe.

"Ow! Ow! OW, dammit! Maka, MAKE HER STOP!" the scythe demanded, making Maka sweatdrop as Emily kicked him one more time for extra measure.

_Her feet are bare, could she **really **be hurting him that much...? Oh, wait... _Maka squinted at the witch's feet, finally noticing the sparks.

_She's channeling her magic into her feet. That makes sense! **And** it explains how she ran so fast and jumped that huge gap. If Soul hadn't gotten around her ankle on such short notice, she'd probably be safe by now..._

"Alright, guys. _My_ turn to have the upper hand for a moment!" Emily said cheerfully before flicking her hand towards the scythe.

The scythe was pulled into the air, away from Maka, who watched with wide eyes as the glow of Emily's magic sizzled and sparked around the edges of the weapon.

"Now..." Emily began as she spun her finger, making the scythe spin as well. "Maka, is it? I don't wanna have to kill you. Actually, I don't wanna stab you or anything at all. _Especially_ with your own scythe!"

"I'm starting to get a little dizzy," the weapon groaned. Emily flashed a rather evil grin, making her finger – and the scythe – spin at warp-speed.

"DAAAAAAAMMMIIIITTTT!" he shouted, a huge temple throb springing up, but his shout came out weird due to all the spinning, so she just giggled.

"Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. I don't wanna have to kill you with your own weapon, or even scratch you with it. I mean, _listening_ to that thing has _got _to be a bad enough punishment for you."

"HEY!"

Maka sweatdropped. "...You have a point there..."

"MAKA!"

Emily glanced up at the scythe, rolling her eyes. "You're not making yourself sound any less annoying right now. I _suggest _you shut up, before I fling you against the wall. Or worse, throw you down that chimney over there. The one with the smoke...wow, wonder how long it'll take you to melt. Probably not long. I've played with alchemy before, I'd say not more than ten minutes. But _plenty _of time to feel unbelievable pain!" she said cheerfully, making the scythe tremble slightly.

"MAKAAAAA!"

"SOUL, SHUT UP! LET THE WITCH FINISH!"

Emily smiled at her. "Thank you, Maka. But I would appreciate it if you didn't say 'witch' as if it were brussels sprouts. It's quite degrading. ...If it's any consolation, I'm much nicer when you're not TRYING TO KILL ME, YOU JERKFACES!"

Maka's eyes widened as she continued to pitch a fit, making various objects react because of it.

"I mean, my transportation spell fails, and _that's_ humiliating enough! But I have _no idea_ how to get back, I'm stuck in a place I've only had _nightmares_ about, and then this girl named _Maka_ who has a _really_ annoying scythe shows up, and they start trying to _kill_ _me_! What's worse, they seem to think like _most_ of the world thinks: witches are evil, satan-worshipping, lustful, betraying _fiends_! ...And _on top of that_, this fricking weapon above our heads wants to eat my soul! Now, tell me, Maka. How would _you_ feel if you were in my position? Hmm? Here are your choices: A, nonchalant. B, hungry. C, pissy to the max. Or D, B and C. What do you think? HUH?"

"MAA-KAA-GET-MEEE-DOOO-OOWN!" the scythe groaned again, and Emily's temple throbbed.

"THE ANSWER IS D! I'M HUNGRY AND PISSY TO THE MAX!" she shouted angrily, waving her hand rather violently.

* * *

Her hand movements caused the scythe to be thrown against the walls of the alley, back and forth, about eight times before she made him drop.

On top of that, when she had shouted, the chimney to their right that she had mentioned throwing Soul in earlier had suddenly sent out a few bright flames with a _**WHOOSH**_.

And during her _whole _rant, several things had happened. One, a few stones around or behind the witch had been ripped from their places, flying in random directions.

Two, her eyes had flashed to a fiery amber color instead of the chocolate brown they had been.

Three, her hair had been whipped around by some kind of wind that had stirred up around her, loosening it almost completely out of the braids.

And finally, Maka had activated her soul perception and was able to see her soul. It was moderately-sized when the witch had been starting her rant, but as she got angrier, it started to look more wild and grew in strength.

But at the same time...it wasn't like Medusa's or Arachne's, or any of the normal witches Maka had fought against.

It wasn't like Kim's or Angela's, either.

She honestly didn't know if this witch was tainted by the instinct for destruction or not. _Good or bad? _

Her soul was just...different altogether. _What kind of witch IS she? _

* * *

Emily wiped the blood off the side of her face, panting. Stick Boy was groaning, making her blood remain boiled.

"Stick Boy, you have a rare skill. The mere _sound_ of your voice makes me pissed off."

"...That settles it. Now I _really_ wanna eat your damn soul!"

Emily sighed and shook her head, flicking her hand again so the scythe flew upward. "Men, they never learn."

This time, Maka launched into the air, grabbing the scythe. It startled Emily, and her magic faltered.

Knowing it'd be best to just keep running, now that weapon and wielder were reunited, she did just that.

But in the heat of the struggle, Emily had forgotten one major thing. Her nausea. Now, after all that running, and anger, and running again, her poor stomach couldn't take it anymore. She could feel the bile rising in her throat.

"Oh..._crap_!" she hissed, suddenly stopping.

Maka screeched to a halt as well. "What's she planning?" she wondered. She looked to her scythe, expecting some kind of response, and sweatdropped. "...Soul? You don't look so good."

"I spun too much," he said at the same time Emily fell to her knees. With a flash of light, he turned into a regular dude.

He and Emily then threw up on the street at the same time, both making really disgusting retching noises.

Maka jumped back spastically, pigtails sticking straight up as her eyes widened to white circles.

"S-Soul, you _threw up_ on my _shoe_! YOU THREW UP ON MY SHOE!"

"Sorry," he groaned, about to stand. But then another wave hit, and he resumed his Vomiting Position.

Meanwhile, Emily had stopped vomiting, and she wiped her mouth with a rag she had summoned from a random windowsill.

She staggered to her feet, looking at Maka through half-lidded eyes. "Okay, fine, kill me. I don't wanna feel this nausea any longer!"

But then she noticed her Ninja Turtle houseshoes. Maka flinched at the deadly look on Emily's face as her temple throbbed ominously, right eye twitching.

"T...T-Th-Th-The...MY SHOOOOOEEEEESSS! YOU STUPID, STUPID, _STUPID_ STICK BOY!" she screeched, pointing in horror at her house shoes.

Her whole body trembled with rage at the sight of her shoes, one of them now having a slash mark right through the middle.

The scythe, who was now a regular person, sweatdropped. "...They're _just_ shoes."

Maka sweatdropped as well, waving her arms spastically. "Soul, I don't think you should be saying that at the moment!"

Emily's hands clenched and unclenched, the dry wind picking up around her again. "_You_...what was the _one thing_ I specified? I believe it was...oh, jeez, what _was_ it..._hmm_? OH YEAH."

Her fingers crackled with magic as she summoned a stone out of the street, flicking her hands back and forth in a Pimp Slap kind of motion.

"Don't." _**WHAM!**_ "Touch." _**WHAM!**_ "My." _**WHAM!**_ "SHOOOOOEEEEEES!" _**WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM!**_

"Couldn't you obey one damn rule, you MORON? HUUUUUH? I bet if I destroyed YOUR shoes, you'd be acting the same exact way!"

"Never in a million years," Stick Boy groaned, rubbing his cheeks where the stones had hit him.

"RAAAAAARGGGHH!" _**WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM!**_

Maka was sweatdropping to the max by this point, and Emily panted angrily, the wind dying down slowly.

"I'll _kill you_ for this. I swear. Maybe not today, Stick Boy. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not even _next year_. But one of these days, I'll be back for you. And I'll run you over with a Greyhound bus. With lots of fat people on it, and possibly Oprah. ...Or something _equally_ horrific and sadistic!" she threatened.

Maka shivered again- rather hard- at the tone the witch used, while Stick Boy just blinked at her. Then his temple throbbed.

"YOU DAMN WITCH, I'M GONNA KILL YOU _FIRST _FOR MAKING ME THROW UP LIKE THAT!"

"NO, I'M GONNA KILL _YOU_ FIRST!"

"I'M gonna kill YOU first!"

"I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU _TRY_!"

"MAKAAAA!" Stick Boy shouted, turning into a scythe again. Maka twirled him around a couple times, making him groan. "Please, I beg of you, don't do that to me for the next twelve hours."

"...Sorry."

"Maybe twenty-four."

"Okay, whatever keeps you from tainting my shoes."

Emily sighed and plopped down on her butt, spreading out her arms. "Alright, go ahead. Kill me. I feel like utter crap, anyways."

Maka walked rather calmly until she was standing in front of her. Emily squeezed her eyes shut, wondering if Maka would be offended if she asked her to be quick about it.

"Open your eyes and get up."

Emily opened one eye suspiciously; Maka was holding out her hand. Stick Boy's image was inside the blade of the scythe, and he looked almost as pissed as Emily had been feeling this whole time.

"Maka, what're you –"

"We're not killing you. Get up."

"WE'RE NOT?"

Emily groaned. "Great, you're gonna make me suffer even more?"

She grabbed Maka's hand nonetheless, and the blonde pulled her onto her feet, steadying her as she swayed.

Stick Boy growled to himself before transforming back into a normal dude, shoving his hands into his pockets dejectedly as they waited for her to grab her houseshoes.

"Maka, I'm so hungry. That's just plain cruel."

Maka sighed and rolled her eyes, trying to ignore Emily as she sent waves of annoyance towards Soul with a death glare, muttering about her houseshoes. "Soul, her wavelength's too different. I just...don't feel like it'd be right to kill her. Besides, she's right; she hasn't done anything wrong."

"Oh, so beating me up isn't _wrong_!"

"YOU WERE TRYING TO KILL ME!" Emily shouted, standing on her tip-toes to glare at him over Maka's head.

He stood on _his _tip-toes, making him taller as his temple throbbed. "'CAUSE I WANNA EAT YOUR SOUL, IS THAT A FRICKING CRIME?"

"DO YOU _HEAR_ YOURSELF RIGHT NOW? YOU SOUND FRICKING _CRAZY_!"

Meanwhile, the only sane one of the three's temple throbbed, and she raised a book ominously. "Makaaaa..."

Stick Boy covered his head, while Emily looked at Maka in confusion.

"CHOP!"

Emily and Stick Boy keeled over, heads throbbing as slight smoke wafted up from them. "Owwww..."

Maka grinned in spite of herself, walking on without them. "C'mon, I'm taking you to Lord Death. _He'll_ know what to do."

"Okaaay..." Emily groaned, getting up with a bit of difficulty. It wasn't until she had caught up with Maka that she completely processed what she had said.

"...Wait...did you say...LORD DEATH? W-W-WHAAAAAAT? WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?"


	3. Lord Death Lives In Disney Land?

**Back again! Thanks again for the alerts, faves and reviews. Much appreciated.**

**Well, on with the story! **

* * *

"This...is the longest...walk...of my LIFE," Emily declared, trudging after them.

"Witches, you're all so lazy."

"PARTIALLY BECAUSE YOU TRY TO KILL US WITHOUT HESITATION, IT'S KINDA TIRING!" she retorted, temple throbbing.

Maka sighed and shook her head. "Both of you, just don't talk to each other for a while. ...You're making my head hurt."

_**Your**__ head hurts? _Emily wondered moodily, rubbing her own head that she cracked against the ground so many times.

_That's probably why I almost let Maka kill me earlier, over something as stupid as nausea. I can't think so good, but luckily it's better now. ...Stupid brain._

They were originally looking for a mirror or window, but then Maka said that this was probably something they should talk to him about in person. Emily's guess was that there was some magical way to talk to this Lord Death dude through a reflective surface. _Kind of like Bloody Mary, maybe?_

She shivered at the very _thought _of that stupid scary game. That poor witch would never get peace; then again, if people kept calling _her _through a mirror, Emily'd be a murderous bitch, too.

Her shiver turned into a wide-eyed stare as they approached... "Oh...my...GOD. Is...Are we at...DISNEY LAND?"

Maka and Soul sweatdropped. He opened his mouth to say something, but Maka raised her book in warning, and he shut his mouth real quick.

"...No. This is the DWMA: Death Weapon Meister Academy."

"...Come again? What the hell are meisters?"

Maka facepalmed. "You don't know what meisters are?"

Emily raised a finger importantly. "Oh, while we're talking about things I don't understand at all, how can Stick Boy over there turn into a talking stick?"

"HEY!"

"Oh, sorry. How can Stick Boy over there turn into a talking stick _with a sharp piece of metal at the end_?"

"I'm _entirely_ metal, moron!"

"Then how come I _hurt you_ so easily, HUUUUH?"

"SHUT UP!" Maka shouted, making them both close their mouths exaggeratedly. "...Soul's a weapon. Y'know...people who...can also transform into demon weapons. The meisters are the ones who wield them, just like I wield Soul."

"Oh. Okay. ...Wait, why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do weapons and meisters exist? We sure as hell don't have 'em back where I'm from."

"Where the hell are you –"

"We exist to prevent the birth of another Kishin, and to create Death Scythes," Maka said quickly, interrupting her weapon before another fight broke out.

"Whoa, wait, back up. New vocabulary to explain. Kishin and Death Scythes. Go!"

Soul sweatdropped. "...You have a way with words, witch, you know that?"

She turned her nose up at him, huffing slightly. "I wasn't talking to _you_, now, was I?"

His temple throbbed, and he was about to shout at her, but Maka raised her book again, and he sighed before shutting his mouth.

"A Kishin is the last and most powerful form of a corrupted soul. And before you even ask, a soul becomes corrupted when it eats innocent human souls to enhance their own power. Unlike weapons, like Soul, who eat Kishin souls for a _just_ purpose."

"And who eat innocent unsuspecting witches," Emily muttered, glaring at him.

"AND DEATH SCYTHES," Maka began, obviously getting just a little bit annoyed. "...Death Scythes are weapons that can be wielded by Lord Death himself. To do that, the weapon and meister must collect 99 Kishin souls and one witch soul. It's the goal of every meister to turn their weapon into a Death Scythe," she concluded.

"So...you already have 99 Kishin souls?"

"No."

"Then why'd you try to eat _mine_?"

"I was hungry," Soul replied at the same time Maka replied, "I thought you were a _threatening _witch."

Emily's temple throbbed, but her boldness was kind of temporarily lost as she realized they were walking under _guillotines_.

She gulped and tried not to look up at them, but it was like avoiding a huge mole on someone's lower lip or something; it just can't be done.

Emily's steps felt heavier and heavier, her imagination running wild. Lord Death...could she be meeting...the Grim Reaper himself?

"Hello, Lord Death," Maka called out cheerfully.

"Maka! Wassup, wassup, wasssuuuuup?" a rather...non-Grim-Reaper-like voice greeted back.

Emily then noticed the tall person clothed in a wonky black robe, facing a mirror. They turned around, and she saw...the least-frightening thing she'd ever seen in her life.

"Lord Death, we have a problem. Soul and I came across a witch, and I was going to take her soul, but...it's...her soul's not like any witch's soul I've ever seen. I wasn't sure if taking her soul would be the right thing."

"Don't forget the fact that I didn't do anything wrong!" Emily added.

"Except your transportation spell or whatever. That went _completely_ wrong, from what you said."

"I WASN'T _TALKING_ TO YOU!" she fumed, stomping her foot. As if to totally screw her over, one of the fallen cross-thingies lined all around them flew right into Soul's face.

His temple throbbed as it clattered to the ground, and she laughed nervously. "I'm...not the _best_ at controlling my magic...hehehe..."

Lord Death suddenly started...sort of..._bouncing_ around her, making her sweatdrop. "Hm...Maka, I see what you mean. Something _does_ seem quite off about you, my dear."

"Oh?" Emily asked, eye twitching as she tried to ignore the stare she was getting from across the room from some random man.

"When I perceived her soul, she didn't seem tainted by the witch's instinct for destruction. At the same time, her soul wasn't innocent like Kim's or Angela's. I just...don't understand," Maka admitted with a sigh of defeat.

Lord Death tapped his chin in thought, and Emily sweatdropped at the goofy noises it caused. "Well...that makes two of us. What exactly _are_ you doing here in Death City, Ms..."

"Emily," she offered. "Emily Bishop. And I didn't _mean_ to be here. See, it's kind of hard to explain, but..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**SEVEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"So_ you're saying _that you are from some sort of...alternate reality...where weapons and meisters don't exist?"

"Yessir."

"And you failed a spell, which brought you here?"

"Pretty much."

"And so, when Maka attacked, you naturally fought back."

"Naturally. And...as to my soul...the only explanation I can think of is that I deal with _white_ magic."

"White magic?" everyone asked at once, making her facepalm again. T_hese people seem to be rather misinformed about witches...!_

Emily's eye twitched again as that weird man got even closer, squinting at her. He'd been unnoticed as of yet by the others, it seemed.

"Yeah, white magic. See, every witch has their own specific abilities. Mine deal mostly with my Sixth Sense, which is 'incredibly' heightened. It gives me premonitions, a knack for communication with the dead, the ability to read the Cards and people's palms, and to manipulate objects against their will.

"Along with those _specific_ abilities, every witch chooses their own path when it comes to spells; incantations and charms that can be used by _any_ witch. Spells usually go into three categories: white magic, black magic, or Wiccan. There's a few random classifications inbetween. My family's dealt with white magic for years. Black magic's always been something we know shouldn't be meddled with lightly; the consequences are never good. _Those_ are the powers used for destruction in my world."

She let that sink in, then added a closing statement to save her ass. "In other words, witches in my world have a different make-up. I'm not here to destroy you all, so you can stop holding your breath now."

And that's when Emily noticed the man was now way too close to her chest, squinting at it. "HEY, what's the big idea?" she shouted, jumping back spastically with a temple throb.

Maka's temple throbbed menacingly as well, and the man waved at Emily innocently. "Hi there! I was just trying to find the ninjas on your shirt."

"You have _ninjas_ on your shirt?" Lord Death asked with slight intrigue.

"3 of them," the man replied proudly as if it were a major accomplishment.

The next thing Emily knew, everyone was squinting at her shirt, cocking their heads to the left and right.

"Found one!"

"Soul, you did _not_!"

"How would _you_ know, Maka?"

"Because I solve puzzles a whole lot more than you, I would've found at least _one_ before you! ...Plus, you're not even looking around the shirt for any, you're just staring in _one_ direction in particular..."

"Gah! Stop making me sound like a dirty old geezer, like your father!"

"HEY, WATCH IT!"

"Papa, he's got a point. You're _easily _the biggest scuzzbag I know."

Her temple throbbed, deciding it'd be best to just ignore that whole scenario. "Um...not to be a _nudge_, but can someone please tell me whether or not they're gonna let Soul eat me?"

Maka's dad looked at Soul in disbelief. "You tried to _eat_ this lovely little lady? WHAT'S _WRONG_ WITH YOU? See, THIS is why I don't want you hanging around my dear Maka, you're tainting her innocence!"

Lord Death's temple throbbed, and he raised his gloved hand. "Reaper CHOP!" he exclaimed, whacking him in the head much like Maka did to Emily and Soul with her book earlier.

"Spirit, have you not been listening this whole time? She's still a witch, good or not. How were they supposed to know?"

Soul sweatdropped as he and Maka watched her dad spurt blood. "I'm surprised his first priority when we walked in here wasn't to fawn over you, Maka."

"Me too, but let's not jinx it," she muttered in reply.

Emily just snickered to herself. "Hehehe, it looks like a bloody water fountain's coming out of his head! That's so cool, do it again!"

Spirit suddenly sprung up, prancing towards Maka with hearts in his eyes. "Don't worry, darling daughter, there's still _plenty_ of attention and affection left for you!"

Maka escaped his outstretched arms just in time, temple throbbing and eyes narrowed. "Don't waste your energy, I can get by without some of your attention for a while."

He drooped, reaching his hands toward her with tears streaming down his face. "MA-KAAAAA!" he sobbed, crouching into a squat-like position and holding the sides of his face dramatically.

_Man, wonder if __**my**__ dad would've been like that...!_

"Reaper CHOP!"

Emily laughed again as the bloody fountain returned. "Yay!" she exclaimed cheerfully, wishing she had her cell phone to take a picture of the poor Spirit.

"Spirit, get a hold of yourself," Lord Death scolded.

He groaned in response, holding up his thumb. "Got it..."

Lord Death's temple throbs suddenly disappeared, and he looked at Emily. "Well, my dear, I've got good news and bad news for you!"

"Okay."

"The bad news is, I have absolutely no idea whatsoever as to how to get you back to your home."

_I figured as much. Dammit, I've gotta learn how to perfect the transportation spell..._ "And the good news?"

He bounced some more. "The good news is that I think I know where you can stay in the meantime without being mistaken for a malevolent witch!"

"Really? Where?"

"With Scythemeister Maka, of course!"

She nodded slowly. "...I could live with that for a while."

Soul's temple throbbed. "...She's sleeping on the floor."

She jumped back spastically. "EHHH? Wait..._you_ live there, too?" Emily struck the Ultimate Depression Pose, hands on her head as she drooped comically. "...Great...He's gonna eat me in my sleep..."

Lord Death laughed at that one. "I assure you, Emily, he won't. Riiiight?" he asked Soul, raising his gloved hand ominously.

Soul sweatdropped. "...Right."

"Well, I'm sure Emily's tired. You three should probably get going. Later!" Lord Death said cheerfully, waving bye in that kid way where you move your fingers up and down against your palm.

Emily found herself waving back in spite of herself, and trudged after Soul and Maka. The latter grinned at her, green eyes crinkling cheerfully. "See? Not so scary in person, is he?"

"Nope. But, c'mon, with a name like_ Lord Death_, fear was kind of a given."

She expected some kind of sarcastic comment from Soul, but she glanced over to see him clutching his stomach, staggering dramatically. "So...hungry...Maka, I think for the sake of my stomach, we should just agree that today was your day to cook and you should whip up something."

"But it isn't!" she said defiantly, which just made Soul kick his performance up a notch. Emily sweatdropped, and Maka sighed reluctantly.

"...Fine. But only because I don't wanna have you doing that all night!" she said over his loud groaning.

Emily shook her head at them. "Man, if only that worked on my sister. She'd just zap me."

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

_Concentrate. Harder. Haaardeeerrr..._

"Come on. Lift _gracefully_, dammit," Emily muttered to her cup of water as it continued to slosh out.

The cup was floating in midair at the moment, which was good, but it wasn't stable. Just like her magic.

"Come _on_ already!" she hissed, making the remote from the tv spring off its place and hit her square in the face.

Her temple throbbed menacingly as it slid off, and she shook her head. "Sometimes I wish I didn't know magic. Wait, no I don't. Then I would've died tonight..."

The cup wafted back and forth in time with her hand as she moved it around thoughtfully. "On the other hand, if I didn't know magic, I wouldn't have been thrown here in the first place. And Maka wouldn't have targeted me. And I wouldn't be terrified to go to sleep again tonight..."

She had fallen asleep for a good four hours or so, but had a nightmare that Soul poured some salt and paprika on her while she was sleeping before cutting her open and eating her soul.

Yeah...it was really fucked up.

Needless to say, sleep wasn't exactly something she wanted too badly at the moment. Although she _was_ pretty damn tired, and she kept picking at the dried blood on her cheek unconsciously to keep herself awake.

She realized not only had she been picking at her cheek while she'd been thinking about all that, but the cup was now moving at warp speed. "HALT," she hissed, making the cup stop abruptly.

Emily sighed. "This _so_ isn't working..."

"Wow, when you said you can't control your magic too well, you weren't kidding," someone said right behind her.

"Gah! Blair!" she exclaimed, making the cup tip over and spill all over her head. Emily's temple throbbed, water dripping into her eyes, and Blair giggled as she hopped onto the coffee table to look at her.

"Although I have to say, even without that control, you're still pretty good at holding your own. At least you've got that going for you. And your boobs are bigger than Maka's, so there's another accomplishment!"

Emily sweatdropped. "...Awesome," was all she said.

Blair tilted her cat head to the side, tail swishing to and fro curiously. "Hmmm...they're right. Something _does_ seem off about you. Are you _really_ a witch, or do you just have insane magic powers like me?"

"I'm a witch. A clutzy one, but a witch nonetheless."

"Well, either way, you should be sleeping. It's, like, two in the morning."

Emily sweatdropped. "Then why the hell are _you_ up?"

"I'm a cat, silly, we're nocturnal! Besides, I have all day to sleep it off. Unlike Maka and Soul, I don't _go_ to the Academy."

Emily shrugged. "Neither do I. I'm just chilling here for a while until I can finally use that damn transportation spell."

Blair perked up. "Really? So...you have nothing to do all day, right?"

"Affirmative."

"AH! WE SHOULD TOTALLY GO SHOPPING! WILL YOU PAY?"

"How would _I_ pay, I don't have any fricking money!"

Blair drooped, meowing woefully. "Aww maaaann..." She suddenly jumped into a sitting position again, making Emily jump.

"Wait! I have an idea! ...Don't worry about the money, leave _that _up to me." And with that, Blair hopped off the coffee table and pranced down the hall.

Emily shook her head slowly, laying down. "Cats. Sneaky little things. ...Oh well, at least it's in my favor. I can't go around in pajamas the whole time I'm here. Besides, I'm pretty fricking dirty after having to hit the ground so much. I'm taking a shower tomorrow before I agree to go _anywhere_ with that cat..."

She put her arm over her eyes, making the world as dark as possible.


	4. Lots Of Money, Blood Loss, & Humiliation

**Back again! Wow, more faves and reviews and alerts in the short time between updates? Awesome!**

**Glad to see I'm not epically failing in this! ...Poor Emily, that's all I gotta say about this chapp. XD**

**Well then. Read, review, and enjoooooyy! **

_

* * *

_

_Blood pounding in her head. _

"_Emily."_

_**I don't want to answer; it's best she thinks I'm dead.** Emily squeezed her eyes shut tighter, trembling as the snake wound around her throat._

"_Emily Dia Bishop." The Snake Woman chuckled, her snake's scales tightening against her skin. "How pitiful. You show **such **promise, I reach out to you, wanting to talk to you. And you sit and play dead? ...Do I scare you?" she asked in a condescending tone._

_Emily opened her eyes, glaring at her. "You wish. I go to **school **with people scarier than you!"_

_She chuckled again, amber eyes narrowing slightly.** Like a snake's... **"If that's what you really want me to believe. I need you to help me, Emily. You have a gift; a gift I need. You also need help getting back home, don't you?"_

_Emily narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "You expect me to help you when you have a snake around my throat? Call off your little pet, and maybe we'll talk."_

_She laughed and waved her fingers, the snake slithering off and back up her arm before turning back into a tattoo. "I was just measuring your courage. I can't trust just anyone, you see. Witches in this world know that much, but I assume you do as well after winding up in Death City."_

_She cocked her head to the side as Emily tried to find the shape of something, **anything**, in the darkness around them._

_The only thing allowing her to see herself or this other witch in the first place was the random purple spotlight. She hated the color purple; it reminded her of Barney, which in itself was pretty fricking terrifying._

"_Just cut to the chase, what the hell do you want? You know what, first I wanna know your name. I'm tired of seeing you around my subconscious and not knowing what to call you other than Woman With Many Snakes."_

_**This witch seems to find me fricking hilarious,** Emily thought with a temple throb as she laughed some more._

"_Ah, that's easy! Medusa, I am Medusa."_

"_Oh, that explains all the snakes. They must be your affinity, I've heard some witches have a charming ability on certain animals."_

"_Correct. You're smarter than I thought."_

_Emily sweatdropped. **I know a 6-year-old witch who knows that much! Jeez, does she ****think I'm mentally handicapped or something?**_

_She narrowed her eyes. "Alrighty, Medusa. Look here. I'm sick of you hanging around my brain, so get lost! And take your slithery friends with you."_

_Medusa pouted at her, folding her arms across her middle. "Now, **now**, Emily! I was going to help you return to Salem, but with an attitude like that..."_

"_I don't wanna get there by way of dark arts, and your aura reeks of it. So do as I say and get lost, before I **make **you!"_

_Her mocking demeanor faltered, quickly turning into annoyance. "Alright, if that's how you want to go about things. We can do this the hard way. But one way or another, you'll be giving me what I want, Emily Bishop."_

"_Don't count on it."_

"_How about some words of persuasion?" Medusa asked with a chuckle, raising her arms in the same manner most witches do when spellcasting._

_Emily quickly got on her feet, thrusting her palm out towards her with her hands splayed out._

"_Snake, snake, cobra cobra –"_

"_Spirit of Medusa, you are deemed unwelcome. Your medium demands you depart from here! Depart from this place!" Emily shouted, reciting the words she'd relied on since she was a toddler and first started comunicating with the dead._

_Mom had made her memorize them by heart._

_Medusa had no choice to obey, holding her side as if in pain and walking backwards as she started to fade away._

"_You stubborn witch! You're nothing but a fledgling; don't think you can get away with messing with the real thing!"_

* * *

Emily awoke with a start, jumping and digging her nails into the couch. Sunlight was wafting in, way too brightly for her liking. Emily groaned and sat up, rubbing her eyes._ That won't keep her away long; she'll probably be back tonight or the next night...dammit._ She blew her bangs out of her face, back to the side where they belonged, and stretched her arms towards the roof.

She winced as her back popped. "_That _wasn't the first thing I wanted to hear in the morning..."

"SOUUUL!" Maka bellowed suddenly, making Emily literally jump a foot off the couch, hair sticking straight up in surprise.

"GAH!" she exclaimed before falling flat on her ass on the tile floor.

"MAKA, IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT WAS ALL _HER_!"

"Oh Maka, please go easy on me!" Blair whined. "Do you have any idea how _hard _it is to resist a cutie like Soul? Huh?"

Emily sweatdropped. "And _that's _not the first thing I wanted to hear, either." Her sweatdropping increased as Maka stomped into view, Soul not far behind. He was rubbing the side of his face mournfully.

"Jeez, Maka, did you haveta kick me?"

"I wasn't gonna kick _Blair_!"

"Why the hell not, it was _her _fault!"

Maka huffed and was about to reply when Blair ran out in rather skimpy lingerie. "Sooouuul, why don't you skip class today? We'll have fun! I was going to go shopping for new underwear today!"

Emily sweatdropped as she proceeded to shove Soul's face against her chest, swaying back and forth quickly in dismay. "It's no fun, having to do all this shopping without a second opinion! Especially without a _man's _opinion! How am I supposed to know what to wear for you next, hmm?"

"...I think I just threw up in my mouth a little," Emily muttered. "Does this happen often, Maka?"

"It seems like it happens every other damn day," the meister replied, looking more annoyed than disgusted. Less could be said for Emily, whose eye was twitching.

Soul was currently sprawled out on the floor, having keeled over with a perverted nosebleed. Blair pouted, sitting on her knees and crossing her arms to make her chest threaten to pop out even more.

Emily knew that move rather well, having grown up with Appoline. "Awww, you're no fun. Well, at least _Emily's _coming to try on underwear with me!"

"...I am? Underwear, huh?"

"Of course, silly! What else does a girl need?"

"Clothes?" Maka and Emily asked in unison, sounding slightly alarmed at Blair's rhetorical question.

Soul lifted his head off the floor, smirking. "Well, that settles it. Now I'm _really _not going, if that witch'll be there. I might be scarred for life."

Emily growled and simply flicked her hand, making the chair he was sprawled out beside fall on top of him. The pointy legs clocked him in the head, and he keeled over with a different nosebleed entirely.

"Ahhh, my day's been _made_," Emily declared, leaning back against the couch and folding her arms behind her head as the Ultimate Triumphant Pose.

"Damn _witch_!"

"Watch your tone mister, before I throw you against the wall. _Again_."

"OH YEAH? JUST WAIT UNTIL I-" Maka's temple throbbed, interrupting him with a clear of the throat.

She then grabbed him by his black jacket and dragged him out the door. "C'mon, we're gonna be late!"

"But Maka-"

"Stop picking fights with our guest!"

"GUEST?"

Blair pouted once again, shutting the door behind the two. "I bet they'll be having all sorts of fun today, as usual," she commented with a heavy sigh.

Emily stood, looking around. "Blair, things must get pretty boring around here when it's just you."

The cat (currently human) smiled mischievously, holding up a mighty hefty collection of dollar bills. "Oh, don't worry. We'll be having _plenty _of fun, courtesy of Soul Eater Evans!"

Emily laughed, rubbing her hands together eagerly. "This _almost _makes up for that underwear thing!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

"Huh. Alternate universe?"

Maka nodded. "It sounds crazy, I know, but...you didn't see her soul. It practically _screams_ 'otherworldly'."

Tsubaki's forehead creased slightly with thought. "So...wait, is she good or bad?"

Soul folded his arms. "Depends on your definition. I say she's pure evil." Maka whipped out her book and had whacked him in the head with it almost before Tsubaki and the others could react.

But they all sweatdropped soon enough.

"I was just expressing my personal opinion..." he groaned.

"Soul, we've known her less than twelve hours, how can you be so sure on her character already?"

"Because in the few hours I've known her, she's made me want to DIE!"

Black Star started laughing. "Man, I really wanna meet her _now_! Oh, don't worry. If she's pure evil, I'm sure being in the presence of somone as big and bright as me will convert her in NO TIME!"

Kid sweatdropped. "Is she _really_ that horrible?"

Soul slumped. "She made me spin at warp speed, throw up, get hit against the wall at least eighty times, _and _she bitch-slapped me with stones. Yeah, she's really that horrible."

"Maybe you've just gotten rusty. See, this is why you guys should train outside of school like me and Tsubaki," Black Star commented matter-of-factly, making Soul's temple throb.

Maka's temple throbbed as well, but it was directed toward her partner. "You _know_ she only did that to you because we were trying to kill her and you kept talking about eating her soul. I'm sure for her, not knowing about weapons and meisters, that was just a tad bit creepy!"

He waved her off. "Naahh, she would've done it regardless. She clocked me with a fricking _chair_ this morning, Maka!"

Liz put a hand on her hip, smirking. "Wow, now _I_ wanna meet her, too." Patty pumped her fist into the air. "Yeah! Maybe she can teach us something, huh big sis?"

"I dunno, Patty. Not everyone can do magic, isn't being a weapon enough?"

"No!"

"Yeah, I knew you'd say that."

Maka smiled slightly. "Well, it's not like she's going anywhere any time soon."

Tsubaki shook her head slowly. "Still, one has to wonder. It must be really odd, coming to a world totally different from your own. I wonder what she's doing right now..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"Blair, do I _really_ have to do this?"

"Yes, now come out!"

"B-But, it's not like anyone's gonna be _seeing_ it! Can't I just get some regular underwear? No one's gonna know!"

"Absolutely not! A woman's underwear says a _ton_ about her personality! Do you want to be wearing _briefs_ the rest of your life?"

"I DON'T WEAR BRIEFS, THANKS VERY MUCH! ...I wear boy shorts."

She could hear Blair's facepalm all the way from inside the dressing room. "..._Please_ just come out, Emily."

The teenage witch huffed, unlocking the door. "Fiiiine..." She strolled out casually in nothing but her midriff tank top and the underwear, sighing in relief once she saw their area of the store was practically deserted.

_Thank God... _She didn't bother with pulling her strap back onto her shoulder where it belonged, seeing as the store was so empty. It'd probably fall back off her shoulder, anyways, just to piss her off. And then she'd send a few boxes flying, and one would hit her, and...

Blair grinned, bouncing in place. "I _knew_ that'd look good on you! You should _definitely _go with the neon lacy look! Turn around, lemme see the back!"

Emily did as she said, shaking her head at herself and planting her hands on her hips. "Oooh, the back looks good too! Oh, INSPIRATION JUST STRUCK! Try cocking your hip."

Temple throbbing, she did so, not really knowing why the cat so felt compelled to make her do it.

"Emily, you have a cute butt!"

"...Thanks, Blair."

"Oh, hey there, Spirit!" Blair said cheerfully. Emily paled, wondering if she should turn around or just pretend she hadn't heard.

She turned around anyway, like the idiot she was, to see Spirit frozen in some sort of spastic half-leap motion.

"Gaaagghhhh!" he was managing to choke out, jaw dropping and nose bleeding slowly.

Blair giggled. "So you like her underwear? I _told her_ it was sexy!"

"U-Uhh...hehe...huhhh...GAH! MINOR, MINOR, MINOR! MUST RUN AWAY!" he shouted, hauling ass out of the store. He left dust and a small spotty trail of blood behind him.

Emily sweatdropped, while Blair grinned triumphantly. "Hope he didn't want anything important. HEY, maybe you could walk around in that underwear to get on Soul's good side! I do that all the time, it's bound to work with a butt like that!"

"HELL NO, NOT ON HIS DAMN _LIFE_!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

"I'm mad, really bad, but don't tell my mom and dad! Pucker up, kiss my butt, 'cause I'm bloody fuckin' nuts! Hear the bass, skinny waist, now let's copy poker face like WHOA, whoa-oa-oa, WHOA, whoa-oa-oa!" Emily sang, dancing around the apartment as she helped Blair cook.

Well, technically, Blair was helping HER cook. Even though they both couldn't cook worth a damn, Emily knew when to flip fish to make sure they cooked thoroughly after having to sacrifice one for an exorcism.

"What's that song called?" Blair asked, eyeing the fish greedily.

"It's a parody of TiK ToK by this UK group of guys called The Midnight Beast. Hilarious, no?"

"Sing it again, I wanna try and learn it."

"Okay. I'm mad, really bad, but don't tell my mom and dad! Pucker up, kiss my butt, 'cause I'm bloody fuckin' nuts! Hear the bass, skinny waist, now let's copy poker face like WHOA, whoa-oa-oa, WHOA, whoa-oa-oa!"

"I'm mad, really rad-"

"Bad."

"BAD, but don't tell my mom and dad! Pucker up, kiss my butt, 'cause I'm bloody fuckin' nuts! Hear the bass, skinny face, now let's copy poker waist like-"

"Wait, no, you got those two confused. Listen again. I'm mad, really bad, but don't tell my mom and dad! Pucker up, kiss my butt, 'cause I'm bloody fuckin' nuts! Hear the bass, skinny _waist_, now let's copy poker _face _like WHOA, whoa-oa-oa, WHOA, whoa-oa-oa!"

"OKAY, let's sing it together!"

"You got it."

They sang it together a couple times, and soon started dancing around and enchanting random items to float around.

"I'm mad, really bad, but don't tell my mom and dad! Pucker up, kiss my butt, 'cause I'm bloody fuckin' nuts! Hear the bass, skinny waist, now let's copy poker face like WHOA, whoa-oa-oa, WHOA, whoa-oa-oa! I'm mad, really bad, but don't tell my mom and dad! Pucker up, kiss my butt, 'cause I'm bloody fuckin' nuts! Hear the bass, skinny waist, now let's copy poker face like WHOA, whoa-oa-oa, WHOA, whoa-oa-oa!"

It was around the time Emily twirled that she noticed people in the doorway, sweatdropping to the max.

It caused her to trip and fall on her ass, which in turn caused all the objects she was enchanting to fall as well.

Including her shopping bag. The one with the stupid sexy underwear Blair made her try on. Which landed right by two guys' feet. _Great_.

_Hopefully they won't look in it..._

"..._That's _the witch? Soul, you dumbass, how could you let yourself get beat up by HER? She wouldn't stand a CHANCE against me!" the dude with blue hair shouted, laughing rather obnoxiously.

Emily's temple throbbed, while the dude next to him picked up the bag. He had black hair, with three white stripes on the right side.

"Is this yours?" he asked politely, holding it out to her.

She stood, brushing off her already-dirty pajamas and reaching for the bag, hoping against all hope she could just grab it without any questions asked. "Uh, yeah. Thanks."

A random black...creature intercepted the bag, rifling through it. "Hey, Crona, look. The witch brought me some food!" _OH GOD DAMMIT, YOU'VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING MEEEEEE!_

"GAH! DON'T LOOK IN THAT!" Emily screeched, lifting her hand to charm it over to her. Too late, he had already pulled it out.

The other strangers turned to look at the neon green lacy underwear as he inspected it, holding it by the ends and tilting it every which way.

The pink-haired person he was hiding behind (_Or sticking out of? No, that had to be some kind of optical illusion_) was turning bright red. "U-Uhh, Ragnarok? Maybe you should give her that back, I-I don't really know how to deal with this...!"

The two new guys were mumbling incoherently, their expressions looking WAY too much like Spirit's, while Soul and a tall black-haired girl were trying to get the fish off the stove. "DAMMIT, BLAIR, WE _TOLD YOU_ NOT TO COOK WHEN WE'RE NOT HERE!"

"_I _wasn't cooking, _she _was!"

Emily laughed nervously as his temple throbbed. "You damn _witch_, I oughta –"

"Catch!" the creature said while snickering, tossing her underwear. It landed right on Soul's head, making Emily's temple throb. _My undies are NOT meant for some twisted game of Monkey In The Middle! _

The tall black-haired turned red. "O-Oh my..."

Soul waved her off, taking the underwear off his head. "No worries, I'm used to Blair's underwear in my face."

Blair giggled. "Silly, that's not _mine_! I made Emily buy it today!"

Aside from a girl with short blonde hair laughing hysterically, and the black creature and pink-haired guy fighting, there was a rather long "WTF?" vibe in the room.

Soul seemed a bit frozen for a moment. Then he tossed the underwear as if it were a snake trying to bite him, nose bleeding slightly. "GAH! THE HELL? THAT'S _SO _NOT COOL, ARE YOU _KIDDING _ME?"

Emily was absolutely mortified by this point, not sure what to say after a scenario like that.

"Um...sorry?"


	5. The Seance

**Back! ...Not much else to say, really. XD**

**Well, read, review, ENJOY!**

* * *

About an hour later, things were a lot calmer. All the blood had been wiped up, Emily had stopped feeling faint with embarrassment, they had all introduced each other, and the kitchen fire was completely extinguished.

Maka was in the middle of fixing something else for dinner, and Black Star was trying to tell Emily the story of when he "finally surpassed God" (during which everyone kept interrupting to comment on what _really_ happened), when Kid suddenly gasped in horror.

Black Star grinned. "I know, I'm pretty exciting!"

"No, not that...it's..." he was looking at something to Emily's right, and Liz sweatdropped as he ran over to inspect her Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles houseshoes.

"Oh, great. Heeere we go..."

"What?" Emily asked a little worriedly as he turned the shoe Soul had cut over and over in his hands.

Patty started giggling, while Liz sighed. "Kid has a..._thing_ with symmetry."

"WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS SHOE?"

Emily immediately pointed at Soul. "He did it! I _specifically told him_ not to touch my shoes, and he totally did it anyway!"

Kid looked at Soul with pure rage. "SOUL, HOW COULD YOU? YOU JERK, IT'S CUT TOO FAR TO THE RIGHT! DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING, _DISGUSTING_!"

Emily stood up, laughing nervously as he continued to shout at Soul, who was shouting back about how he needed to "get your head out of your ass when it comes to damn symmetry!".

"It's alright, I can fix it!" she said quickly, taking the shoe from the young Grim Reaper delicately. After a bit of head-cocking and finger-waving, the split and stuffing were sealed back up.

Kid seemed absolutely ecstatic over it. "Gah! You're incredible! ...Except for your bangs, may I cut them evenly for you?"

"Sorry, Kid, but ABSOLUTELY NOT."

Patty spoke up suddenly. "Hey, is it true you can talk to the _dead_?"

Emily shrugged. "Guilty as charged. Why, you need something?"

She nudged her sister in the ribs excitedly. "WE SHOULD TOTALLY GET HER TO TALK TO WILLA!"

Liz sighed heavily. "Patty, not _that _again –"

"Actually, that might be a good idea. This Willa story of hers is getting quite annoying," Kid muttered.

Liz reluctantly nodded. "Agreed."

"She exists, I swear!" Patty declared, sliding up to Emily and throwing an arm around her shoulders. "And Emily's gonna prove it to ya!"

They all looked at Emily, who eventually sighed and nodded. "Okay, I'll try and contact her. But I'm gonna need some stuff."

Soul and Black Star exchanged a smirk. "This should be good."

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

"When you said he had a thing for symmetry, you weren't kidding," Emily told Liz as they walked down the halls of Gallows Mansion. Everything was exactly balanced, wall to wall.

"Yeah, he can be a handful sometimes."

"Say, do y'all have a round table?"

Patty pulled her arm to the right, obviously extremely excited. "This way!"

Everyone else sweatdropped and followed. "Why do we have so many damn candles?" Black Star asked, him and Maka carrying six each in their arms.

"Ghosts like the heat, to put it simply. It makes it easier for them to manifest."

He huffed. "If I'm there, that should be _plenty_."

"Black Star..." Tsubaki began, but seemed to think better of it and shook her head instead. As soon as they reached the table, Black Star dumped the candles onto it with a sigh of relief.

Emily smirked. "For a star as big as you, you sure do tire out quickly."

He struck a Heroic Pose, about to reply, but Maka interrupted him by looking around and asking, "What now?".

He drooped, sweatdropping. "Jeez, Maka, way to steal the spotlight. Luckily, I make special exceptions for my friends, so I'll let it slide_ this time_..."

Emily ignored him, bit her lip thoughtfully, then nodded. "Alright. Arrange the candles in groups of three, forming a sort of circlular border. They don't have to be an obvious or tightly-knit circle, they can be obscure. Just make absolutely sure there's no more than three on each side."

"Why not eight?" Kid asked, and she could tell he was about to freak.

"Because if there's more than three, they tend to get pissed. It throws off their equilibrium."

"Can't we make this _one_ exception?" he practically begged, making them all sweatdrop.

Emily rolled her eyes. "Sure, but _you'll_ be the first one they try to possess."

The others looked at him, and he gulped. "...I..._guess_ I can live with three to each side for now."

Soul rolled his eyes. "Not like much is gonna happen."

Emily grinned. "You don't believe me, huh? That's my favorite type of person to be around when I do this. They always run out screaming first."

"Not gonna happen."

"We'll see, won't we?"

Liz tossed Maka a lighter, and she lit the candles as Black Star counted off the candles and arranged them carefully. It was kind of funny to see how serious they were, even though they should be.

"What can _I_ do?" Patty asked eagerly.

"Uhhh...you can find two extra chairs, there's only six here."

"Okay!"

She ran off, and Emily popped her knuckles anxiously. "Alright, do you have some sort of pot or something to hold water in?"

"We should _somewhere _around here. Kid?" Liz asked, turning towards her meister. He was currently kneeling on the ground, hands on the side of his head.

"You can deal with three, you can deal with three, it's possibly the least symmetrical digit in the _entire_ number system, but that's quite alright, it's better than getting possessed, three is fine –"

"Um, Kid?" Emily asked somewhat worriedly.

"THREE IS FINE, I SAY! I'M TOTALLY CALM!"

Everyone sweatdropped, and she blinked a couple times. "...Okay. If you say so."

Liz waved her off. "Don't worry, he does this all the time. I'll try and find something to hold the water."

"Good."

While waiting for that pot, Emily and Blair got out the ingredients they'd be putting in it. Mostly powders, with a couple salts. "Are you putting a spell on us or something?" Black Star asked suspiciously.

"I hope not, she'd probably screw it up and make the whole house go up in flames," Soul snickered.

Emily's temple throbbed, and she made an unlit candle zoom out and hit him in the face. "Gah! DAMN WITCH!"

"WANT SOME MORE, STICK BOY?"

A couple of the others started snickering, while Patty ran in with the chairs. "Here ya go!"

"Cool, put 'em over there somewhere."

"Gotchya."

Liz came in with a crock pot filled halfway with water, and Emily sweatdropped. "I've...never used a cooking pot before for this. As corny as it sounds, I usually use a cauldron. Oh well, I doubt it really matters."

"So...now what?"

"Y'all can go ahead and get seated. Blair, can you hand me the stuff when I ask for it?"

"Of course!"

"Awesome. Hold on, lemme just get the water boiling."

Liz stood from her seat next to Patty, reaching for it. "Oh, you should've told me, I'll go put it on the stove."

"No, that won't be necessary," she said simply.

Everyone stared at her as if she were nuts as she placed her hand under the crock pot, balancing it on her fingertips. Emily closed her eyes briefly before summoning magic to her fingertips, making the pot crackle and sizzle. Within moments, it was brought to a boil, smoke billowing out.

"Hey, where's Crona?" Maka asked suddenly, looking around.

Soul shrugged. "No clue."

Patty raised her hand. "I think he said he had to use the bathroom back at your apartment! After the whole underwear incident, he was really red, y'know."

"What does _that_ have to do with using the bathroom?" Black Star asked, and she just shrugged.

"Nothing, I was just saying. So, Emily, are we gonna see Willa in person?"

"Might. It all depends on how willing she is. Alright, talcum powder, if you please."

Blair tossed it to her, and she caught it with her free hand before tapping the container so only a tiny amount of it came out.

After about three taps, she nodded. "That should be good. ...Wait, I lied." Two more taps, and the water started turning colors. "_There _we go!"

Soul and Tsubaki both sweatdropped, right eyes twitching nervously. "I thought she said she was a professional..."

Blair tossed her the next three powders, and then the salts. Almost as soon as the salts made contact with the water, smoke started billowing out, flowing over the table.

"Alright, that should be good. Don't take this lightly, you guys. Séances are very unpredictable. This isn't like your normal séances, and it sure as hell isn't the same as with an Ouija board. I'm a witch with a very strong sixth sense, and the rest of you have intense auras as well. That means this séance'll be a lot stronger, and a lot more spirits will want to come to us besides Willa."

She looked at them all in turn. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," they all answered. Even Soul and Black Star sounded at least a little serious.

She nodded. "Alrighty then. Now, keep the goal in mind. Empty your thoughts of everything and everyone else. Our goal is to summon the spirit of Willa, and establish a connection with her from the other side. To bring her to Gallows Mansion for a short time."

"But, wait, she's –"

"Shhh, Patty, I'm creeped out enough as it is!"

"...Sorry, sis."

Emily sat in her seat and nodded. "Alright, everybody join hands."

They were a lot more cooperative than she expected, doing as she said slowly but surely. "Now, whatever might happen during this séance, it's absolutely imperative that you never let go until the spirit departs. Letting go will make you a target for any spirit that might manifest, because it basically seeks warmth and wants to be human again. I can't guarantee that I can make the spirit depart after it possesses you, so let's try and avoid that. Got it?"

They nodded, and she grinned. "On _that_ cheerful note, let's get this started. Patty, do you know Willa's whole name?"

"Nope!" she replied cheerfully, making everyone sweatdrop at how carefree she was.

Emily shrugged. "Oh well. Hopefully there aren't too many Willas hanging around here. Oh, and one more thing. They feed off fear, so try your best to keep that to a minimum."

Liz nearly keeled over, practically in tears. "Oh, _greeeat_!"

She looked around the room before clearing her throat and speaking to the air. "The cirle has been made, the connection to the Other Side will be tested. We wish to communicate with the spirit of Willa. We bring you gifts from life into death. Commune with us, Willa, and move among us!" she called out, her voice resonating throughout the room and bouncing off the walls.

They waited for a good three minutes, and she repeated the phrase a couple more times, then made a face.

"Huh. Looks like she doesn't wanna talk. ...Well, any requests?"

"Yeah, Elvis, can you manage that?"

Emily's temple throbbed. "Remind me to hit you with something later."

Blair nudged her with her shoulder, sitting on Emily's right. "Hey, what about that ghost from your dream you told me about when we were looking for shoes earlier? Couldn't you try and summon _her_?"

Emily felt a twinge in her gut, like a warning. "I-I don't think that's a good idea. She _reeked _of dark magic."

"Who was it, who was it?" Patty asked, bouncing in her seat.

Black Star yawned. "Yeah, _anything_ to keep me awake."

Emily's temple throbbed. "I just don't think summoning her would be a good idea," she stated again, making each word precise and emphasized.

"What's her name, though? You never mentioned it," Blair asked.

_They're egging me on to try and summon her, are you kidding me?_

Emily's temple throbbed some more. "Her name's Medusa, and I don't think I want to deal with the consequences of summoning someone with such a dark aura!" she practically shouted.

"MEDUSA?" they all screeched in disbelief.

"No, don't all repeat her –"

Too late.

The candles on the opposite end of the table blew out all at once, making Maka jump. Emily cursed. "Dammit! Everyone, whatever you do, do NOT let go."

Right on cue, the doors to the room they were in started opening and slamming over and over. Blair's grip tightened on her right hand with every slam, and Kid was over beside Liz looking pale. "I bet this is because we didn't use groups of eight. I _knew _eight would have been better!"

Emily's temple throbbed, but she didn't comment. "Isn't there anything you can do to send her back?" Tsubaki asked, sounding more than a little frightened.

She didn't blame her; Medusa was cackling and hissing around everyone's chairs, and it was infinitely creepy.

"I can try. Everyone, think in your head very strongly the phrase 'Depart from this realm' over and over until I say you can stop. Close your eyes, and ignore everything else. Don't open your eyes until I say so, no matter what. Am I speaking English or what, DO IT!" she commanded as they just gawked at her.

They all jumped and did as she said. She knew that at least Black Star was, because his lips were moving as he said each word in his head.

"Witch Medusa, your medium deems you unwelcome. Our connection is to be broken immediately, and you will depart from this place! Do you hear me, Medusa?"

Her grip on Blair's and Tsubaki's hands reflexively tightened as she noticed the snake slithering across the table.

The end of its tail grazed Soul and Maka's joined hands, and he jumped. "DON'T OPEN YOUR EYES, DAMMIT!" she shouted at him as he started to do just that, and he squeezed them shut with a temple throb.

_Jeez, men really never listen..._

"Thankssss, Emily Bisssshop," the snake hissed, crawling up her arm. Tsubaki felt it on her hand as well, but Emily squeezed her hand as if to say "Open your eyes and I'll kill you myself." She took that as a warning and kept her eyes shut, but Emily could feel Tsubaki's slight tremble as the snake slithered across their skin.

Finally, it made its way around Emily's neck, but she didn't budge. Medusa's voice chuckled warmly, moving around the room every few words without any clear source.

"_Ahhh, Emily, you're braver now than you are in your mind. Is it because you're risking seven lives, and not just your own?"_

"Witch Medusa, I demand you depart from here! NOW!"

"_Or __**what**__?"_ she challenged, rapping harshly on the table with invisible hands. The unpleasant sound of nails scratching against the walls filled the room next, and Emily gritted her teeth as the snake hissed right by her ear.

She felt her magic kick in, trying to force Medusa back with her spiritual aura. "You don't scare us, witch. You're an apparition, nothing more. You _can_ be sent back to the grave, and that's what I intend to do. SO GET THE HELL BACK WHERE YOU BELONG! DEPART FROM THIS CIRCLE, WITCH MEDUSA!" she shouted, her toes curling reflexively as she activated the full force of her aura.

She knew it could be felt, because everybody in the room tensed under its pressure.

The water shot straight up from the pot with a hiss, and the snake disappeared from around her neck. With a blood-curdling scream from all around them, everything fell silent.

The air, which had turned deathly cold with Medusa's presence, slowly climbed back to its normal temperature.

Breathing heavy, her head pounding from the lost energy, Emily gulped in air before nodding. "She's gone, you can open your eyes and let go now."

Everyone did so, some of them looking more shaken than others. Emily slumped, elbows on the table. She put both hands against her head as blood returned to it.

Blair let out a breath that she didn't know she'd been holding. "That...was..."

"AWESOME!" Patty cheered, pumping her fists in the air.

Liz sweatdropped, lines of depression running down her head. "Patty, how can you say that? I think I nearly passed out!"

_That makes two of us._

Emily glared at them all from underneath her palm. "What was one of the _first_ _things_ I told y'all? If you hadn't all said her name in unison like that, it wouldn't have been our common goal. Therefore, I would've been the only one who risked summoning her, but seeing as there are eight of us here, she wouldn't have been able to grace us with her demonic presence."

"I thought you had to _want_ the spirit for it to be able to show up," Maka said slowly.

Emily shook her head. "Not always. If the spirit, like Medusa, wants to join the living bad enough, all they need is to enter their thoughts or be spoken of to join the séance. I told you it could be dangerous, that's why you clear your mind!"

"If _you _hadn't said her name, none of it would've happened," Soul pointed out angrily.

Emily glared at him. "If y'all hadn't been provoking me and had just left it alone when I said SHE HAD A BAD AURA AND IT'D BE BEST TO FORGET ABOUT IT, _that_ wouldn't have happened either."

"We can argue on whose fault it was all day, but the point is she's gone. Isn't that enough?" Tsubaki pointed out, still sounding shaken.

He and Emily broke their eye contact, nodding grudgingly. Patty looked around. "Hey, if you guys stick around, maybe you'll see Willa pulling some more tricks!"

Emily furrowed her eyebrows. "What? Are you saying Willa's already here?"

"Of course, she's the Gallows Mansion ghost Patty keeps telling people about. Really annoying," Kid replied.

She facepalmed. "Why didn't you _tell me_!"

"I _tried_, but Liz shushed me!" Patty declared.

Emily sighed. "You can't use a séance for ghosts that're already _here_, it's for those who made it to the Other Side!"

Liz groaned, shaking her head. "Great, that witch showing up _was _all my fault!"

"Yep!" her younger sister replied, patting her back. That just made her more depressed, and everyone sweatdropped as Liz fell out of her chair.

"I think...I need to change clothes," she groaned weakly.

Black Star started laughing that obnoxious laugh of his, so Tsubaki and Maka smacked him upside the head at the same time. Emily just sighed and shook her head. "...And this is why I don't do this for just _anybody_."


	6. Emily Hitches A Broom To Arizona

****

Back again! Thanks for the reviews and alerts guys, don't be shy! It'd be awesome to get reviews for every chapp, I'd just frolick all over the place XD

**This chapp's a little longer, but I think you'll like it. **

**Well, that's it. Read, review, ENJOOOOY! :D**

**PS: Fan Fiction made me mad. I finally managed to get the heart to show up between Chupra and Cabra in Chupa Cabra's...and then they wouldn't let it show on here! ARGH!**

**...So just do the author a favor, pretend it's there and compliment her efforts ;)**

* * *

"_What an entertaining performance that was, Emily."_

_Damn. She was back._

_Emily didn't feel like opening her eyes, but did it anyway. Mainly so Medusa wouldn't think she was scared again._

_She looked amused at something, and tilted her head to the side once her laughter had slowed. "You thought you could stop me, did you?"_

"_No, I knew you'd be back. But it was nice not having to hear your annoyingly fake tone in my head while it lasted."_

_Medusa made a tsking noise with her tongue, waving her finger like a parent scolding their child. "Emily damn Bishop! Isn't that what people call you back in Salem? Especially those who know how much of a weakling you are when it comes to your magic."_

_Emily simply blinked at her, and Medusa's smile grew. "See? You know I'm right. You know as well as I do that the only reason you've been able to rule over me so far is because of your knowledge as a medium."_

"_Hey, whatever works."_

"_It obviously isn't doing a very good job if I'm back here, though."_

_Emily's temple throbbed. "...Do you have a point you want to get across, or are you just **trying **to make me want to kill you?"_

_Medusa laughed that creepy low laugh of hers before getting off her tail and summoning an arrow. "Vector plate!" _

_She stepped on the arrow and was launched into the air, landing rather gracefully beside Emily._

"_My point, dear, is that no matter what you do...no matter where you go...no matter who you ask for help..." _

_Medusa leaned towards her, her face taking on the likeness of a snake. "I'll always have the upper hand on you until I get what I want. And I'll make your nights a living hell, Emily." _

_She gripped her shoulder, and Emily did her best not to wince as the nails of two of her fingers dug into her skin. She didn't want to give Medusa the satisfaction._

"_That's a promise!"_ _She hissed, a purple static-y snake slithering its way from her mouth, towards Emily's face._

* * *

"Don't!" she shouted, shooting straight up. Her shoulder stung, she was panting, her hair was in her eyes yet again...and Soul and Maka had the biggest "WTF" expressions on their faces she'd ever seen.

"...Alright, I _won't_ fix you some breakfast! A simple no would suffice," Maka muttered, continuing to tend to the eggs.

Emily turned a little red, flopping back against the couch with a groan.

"Hey. Emily the Strange. You alright over there?"

Her temple throbbed. "I think I liked 'damn WITCH!' a lot better, Soul."

"Well, whoever you are, you alright?"

"Fine. Just a bad dream." She tilted her head up to look upside-down at him, smirking. "Why the sudden concern, huh?"

He huffed, crossing his arms moodily as he waited for his breakfast to be done. "Don't get your hopes up. I _still _plan on killing you one day."

"I already told you, Stick Boy, I'm killing you _first_. ...As soon as I get my hands on a Greyhound bus. Oh, that reminds me!" Emily exclaimed suddenly, sitting up. She flicked her finger at the remote, making it fly into his face.

"GAH! DAMMIT! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?"

"_That_ was for yesterday, when you asked me to summon the spirit of Elvis. I _told_ you I'd hit you for it later."

"Yeah, well, just wait 'till I hit you back. I'll knock you right off your goddamn broom, witch!"

"Soul!" Maka scolded, but Emily just laughed.

"Soul, I bet you'd never insult my broom-riding skills once you ride on one with me."

"Not on your damn life."

She shrugged. "I don't care either way. Personally, I never really liked sharing."

"And I never really liked redheads."

"And I never really liked boys who transform into sticks with blades and try to eat my soul."

"And I never really liked the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

"And I never really liked headbands in dude's hair."

"And I never really liked neon green lacy underwear being flung onto my head after being tainted by witch cooties."

"And I never really liked –"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!" Maka shouted suddenly, making them both jump.

"...She started it," Soul muttered innocently as he drank his drink.

Emily jumped off the couch, pointing at him accusingly. "DID NOT, YOU LIAR!"

Maka raised her spatula threateningly, and Emily sat back down with an innocent laugh. Blair sighed dramatically, licking her paw while perching on the arm of the other couch. "Shouting? This early? That's so not cool!"

Soul's temple throbbed at the use of his word, and Emily made a mental note to say "cool" and "not cool" as often as possible around him to piss him off.

_Should be easy enough! _She thought cheerfully. _He gets annoyed at the very sight of me! Ahhh, good times._

* * *

**_LATER THAT DAY..._**

Even after keeping herself busy most of the day, Emily was still unbelievably bored.

Sometimes she wished she had a way to become a weapon or meister, but she just had a feeling that was an accident waiting to happen. Besides, her magic was more than enough to try and control. She sighed heavily, resting her chin on her palm with her elbow on the bar. "But still...it's so boring around here without Maka or her friends...hell, even _Soul _would be an improvement."

She had just (grudgingly) resumed watching how Blair operated at Chupa Cabra's, contemplating whether or not to go back to the apartment and soak for yet another couple of hours in the tub, when she saw Soul and Maka trudging past.

In the opposite direction of their apartment.

Having a sudden strike of intuition, she scribbled down a note and left it by Blair's stuff before grabbing the nicest broom they had at the damn cabaret and taking her leave.

It felt so great to kick off the ground and shoot up on a broom during the daytime again; it was harder to get away with in Salem. If she ever rode around, it was always at night, which could be such a killjoy most of the time.

"I sure hope Emily doesn't get worried about us if we don't come home by the time it gets dark," Maka was saying.

Soul laughed. "Yeah, right. Doubt it. Besides, a little gray hairs wouldn't hurt her."

_That brat! _

Emily took a slow dive down so she was hidden by a wall, then made a tree branch he was approaching fly back and hit him in the face.

"Ow!"

"Soul? You alright?" Maka asked, turning to see him rubbing his face with a murderous expression.

"Yeah, fine. I just got attacked by a tree, that's all."

"...O...kay..."

Emily snickered to herself, flying back up above them. Maka looked at Soul with curiosity. "Hey, Soul?"

"Huh?"

"Why do you not like Emily so much? She's really not that bad, y'know."

"Easy for you to say, she doesn't beat the crap out of _you_."

"Well, maybe if you didn't provoke her so much..."

"Maybe the damn witch should find a way to control her emotions," he muttered, shoving his hands into the pockets of his black jacket.

Cue Emily's offended gasp and summoning of a brick, which she then made zoom into Soul's shin.

"OW, DAMMIT, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

"Soul, stop shouting at the air! You're embarrassing me!"

"Well, then, tell the inanimate objects to gimme a break! ...Hey..._wait_..." Soul looked around suspiciously, and Emily made a nosedive towards him from above.

As she expected, he got the crap scared out of him when she whizzed past. "Gah! I KNEW IT!"

Maka smiled. "Hi, Emily."

"'Sup, Maka."

Soul glared at his meister. "Alright, how the hell did you not feel her soul like the _first_ time she showed up?"

Maka grinned. "Who said I didn't? I just...wanted to see what would happen." She started giggling despite herself at his expression, while Emily hovered along beside Maka smugly.

"So, where're you guys going?"

"None of your business," the peanut gallery said moodily.

She huffed and flew over to him, positioning her broom so she was right in his way. "Awww, c'mon. Pleeeease tell me?" she pleaded innocently, widening her brown eyes.

His temple throbbed. "Maybe you shouldn't have made that branch hit my face and that brick deadleg me."

"Now, Soul, you have _no proof _that was me. Maybe Mother Nature's just pissed off with you."

"Yeah right."

She pouted at him, crossing her arms across her middle. "Fine. You make me sad. Maka, where're we going?"

"We?"

"Shut up, Stick Boy."

"We're hunting down a Kishin egg," Maka explained brightly.

"Ooooh, sounds fun! I could use some action."

"I'm sure you could. How long has it been for ya, Emily the Strange? I bet never."

Her eyes narrowed as she steered her broom around so she could give Soul the full force of her glare. "I caught that, you pervert."

"I intended you to. That's why I said it, moron."

Emily didn't reply; she had a better idea. "Huh. Guess I'll have to tag along for _sure_ now. Convince you I'm not a moron."

"WOW, dream big!" he shouted sarcastically. It was almost immediately after that statement that he must've realized what she said, and looked to Maka for some kind of input.

She simply grinned at him, and he groaned. "Aw, c'mon, Maka! She'll just get in the way!"

"She's a witch, Soul, she could probably help if anything."

Emily swung her feet as she continued to hover a good four feet off the ground, grinning smugly at him. "Besides, if you left me behind, that would mean you weren't watching me. And _that _would mean you weren't doing what Lord Death told you to do once I was safey out of range and at your apartment: keep an eye on me and make sure I won't betray the DWMA or Death City."

The weapon and meister pair gaped at her. "H-How did you know?" Maka asked.

Emily grinned. "I didn't, I just went on a hunch. But thanks for telling me."

Maka drooped, lines of depression running down her head. "...That was actually pretty clever," Soul muttered grudgingly.

"Aw crap, now I feel pretty guilty...Alright, Emily, now it's for sure! You're going with us!"

She did a loop-de-loop on her broom. "WHOO-HOO! THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME! THANKS MAKA, AT LEAST ONE OF YOU HAS A HEART!"

Soul just got a temple throb and stomped on ahead, growling under his breath. "Can we please just go get my bike now?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"Did you flunk geography, witch?"

"Are we there yet?"

"Has the motorcycle come to a complete stop?"

"Are we there yet?"

"...Maka?"

"Yes, Soul?" she asked tiredly, nearly asleep behind him after being on a bike for forever and a day.

"Permission to eat her soul now?"

"NO."

"Dammit."

Emily grinned, flying alongside Soul and Maka on his motorcycle. How the hell he got a motorcycle (much less the skills needed to drive one)was beyond her, but at least she could be faster if she wanted to be. That made her smug.

"What, do I look tasty to you?"

He made a point of staring straight ahead, temple throbbing. "In. Your. Dreams."

"Nightmare's more like it."

"I thought that was Medusa's job."

Emily gripped the stick end of the broom tighter than necessary, almost snapping it in half. "Hey, watch it. You have no idea what you're talking about!"

He glanced at her with a smirk. "You don't think I can hear you? You talk in your sleep, you know. My door's right next to the kitchen, right near your couch. And you're the loudest damn thing I've ever heard, except for Black Star."

She was glaring at him by this point, and that seemed to make his smirk grow. "Medusa scares the living hell out of you, doesn't she?"

"Not as much as your face."

"Oh, real convincing."

"Soul, leave her alone," Maka muttered, half-asleep again and not even hearing most of the conversation.

Emily continued to glare at him. "No, it's fine. 'Cause _I _saw how scared _he _was during the séance; he looked like he was gonna crap his pants."

"Oh, that's exaggerated and you know it!"

"How would _you_ know, your eyes were closed!"

"Because cool guys don't freak out over a stupid ghost, especially when they're the ones who helped kill her in the first place!"

She was about to shoot back a reply, but then the rest of the sentence hit her, and she was momentarily speechless.

_So...him and Maka killed her? Is that why she's messing with me? No, it couldn't be, I've been having dreams with flashes of her in them since long before I landed in Death City...but still..._

He didn't rub it in that she had no reply, just kept his eyes on the road. So Emily kept her eyes on the road, too. Even if there weren't any trees for her to run into around here.

"Where're we going, exactly?"

"Arizona."

"Are we in Arizona yet?"

"Yeah."

"But we're not _there _yet."

"Nope."

"...How about now?"

"Now what?"

"Now as in are we there yet _now_?"

"If you ask that ONE MORE TIME –"

Emily turned so she was facing him, making a point of sounding as childish as possible. "Aaaare we _theeeere _yeet?" she asked mockingly, sticking her tongue out at him before zooming as far ahead of him as possible.

Which, of course, made him rev the engine and attempt to run her over.

"Moron, you can't run over something that can fly up and down whenever it pleases!" Emily shouted at him, only about two feet away now.

_Damn, he caught up quicker than I thought he would._

"Okay, I'm awake now," Maka said weakly from the back, head spinning. Emily's guess was that the ride got bumpy once she pissed him off.

"Soul?"

"Huh?"

"...Are we there yet?"

Emily started laughing, while Soul's temple throbbed and he turned to look at Maka. "Did you seriously just ask me that?"

"Yeah, are we there yet?"

That made Emily laugh harder, and Maka gave them both strange looks. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," she managed to get out between laughs, while Soul just growled under his breath and stared at the road.

"No, we're not there yet. Okay?"

"Alright, fine! ...No need to get so snappy, I don't know what _your _problem is," Maka muttered to herself.

Emily just laughed harder, and Soul managed to kick her. "Ow!"

"POINT! Just watch, Maka, this witch'll be knocked off her broom in no time. Just like I said."

"Oh, how mature of you! Kick a woman, why don't you!"

"You? A _woman_? ...You're a funny one, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I _am_ pretty funny." Emily flicked her hand, making a beer can hit him in the same spot he kicked her.

"See? That was _hilarious_!"

Maka couldn't help but grin as they continued their stupid shouting match; their expressions were priceless.

Luckily for them, _she_ was smart enough to be paying attention to the road, so _she_ saw the sign. "Hey, guys! We're only three miles away now."

That interrupted their argument, and Emily pumped her fist. "Whoo! Finally! I'll see y'all there, alright?"

"Eh?"

She rolled her eyes. "Very articulate." And with that, she zoomed way ahead. She didn't hear an engine rev or anything like that; she just heard a rather loud "DAMMIT!".

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Jeez, for something three miles away, this Coyote Town something-or-other sure is taking a while to reach," Emily muttered, searching the barren desert for a town.

Luckily, it wasn't dark yet. But it would be soon, the sun doesn't stay setting long. Finally, she found the outskirts of the town, and immediately jumped off her broom.

She grabbed it, making it stop flying, and sighed happily as she stretched her back. "Ahhh, much better. Oh...GOD, my ass hurts."

_Good thing I can ride that thing so many different ways, or else I'd be walking like a cowboy right now..._

Emily looked around, seeping her aura out to try and locate anything sinister. "This town just looks...sleepy. What could possibly be taking human souls _here_?"

As if on cue, an aura suddenly popped up, making her head shoot up. She scanned the area, now bathed in a crimson-slash-orange glow from the sun setting. She felt the aura not too far in front of her, but soon it was heading right for her.

Fast.

It didn't take long for Emily to find it. Unfortunately, it found her first. Fortunately, Emily wasn't stupid and had good reflexes.

Therefore, when it came out of the ground and tried to slice her legs in half, she was able to jump back a good five feet, then five feet more.

"Oh...my...good GOD, you're so UGLY!" she screeched, enchanting a cactus to make it fly into the creature's face.

She didn't want to look at it anymore.

It looked like a cross between Oogey Boogey from Nightmare Before Christmas and Edward Scissorhands, what with the scissor-like appendages.

It pried the cactus off its face and hissed at Emily before taking the form of a coyote. A _really fucked up_ coyote. She made a face; hadn't Maka mentioned something about the locals saying there was a strange coyote attacking people?

Now it made sense.

After about five minutes of them tussling, during which Emily uprooted pretty much every cactus and boulder within a two mile radius, she finally managed to get some distance between them long enough to speak.

"Alright, that's it. I'm sorry, but you're so ugly that you just don't deserve to _live_!" And with that, she summoned magic to her fingers and waited for it to charge her.

...So naturally, Soul and Maka had to interrupt. "Look out!" Maka exclaimed as if it were possible Emily hadn't seen the crazy animal yet.

Soul steered his bike sharply in front of her, his arm inadvertently grazing her hand. Maka and Emily watched with winces as he was promptly electrocuted.

"WHAT THE HELL, YOU DAMN WITCH?"

"THAT WAS MEANT FOR THE _KISHIN_, DUMBASS! THANKS FOR TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY RUINING MY PLAN!"

Maka's temple throbbed. "...Please just transform into a scythe."

He huffed, hair still sticking straight up and skin still sizzling, magic sparks dancing up and down him. "Fine."

"Coyote, as a student of the DWMA, I cannot allow you to harvest any more innocent human souls. Your soul is mine!" Maka recited, pointing at the Kishin. He just laughed and stood on his hind legs, and that's when Emily realized that it had been a _human _before it changed forms.

_...Sure as hell could've fooled me._

"Ready Soul?"

"Been ready."

Emily plopped onto Soul's parked bike, watching with interest. "This should be good."

* * *

It was actually rather disappointing; they killed the Kishin with less than five blows. Don't get her wrong, it was pretty impressive, but...it didn't even last long enough for Emily to finally scratch the itch in the middle of her back, which took a lot longer than it might sound; it was right out of her reach, even when she stretched.

Finally, she had given up on that approach and used one of the motorcycle's handlebars, sighing contentedly.

_Poor Kishin never stood a chance against them_, she mused with a shake of her head.

She watched with interest and slight amusement as Soul immediately changed back to his human form, grabbing the floating red orb greedily. _So **that's **what a Kishin soul looks like..._

He then opened his jaw wider than she thought humanly possible, slurped it slightly, chewed it for a few moments, then swallowed it practically whole. Emily shivered after realizing that if it hadn't been for Maka's doubt, he would've swallowed her soul just like that a few days ago.

"Well. That leaves only 92 to go. Then we go after the witch's soul, and I'll be a death scythe." He glanced over at Emily, smirking. "Maybe you'll have the honor of being the soul I swallow to make me invincible."

Her temple throbbed, and Maka decided now would be a good time to check out the little map that was located on a plaque a little ways away from the two idiots.

Emily scoffed. "Don't count on it. I'll just electrocute you some more."

"Not if I eat you first. I could kill you with one strike."

"What was that?"

"What, am I not speaking slowly enough for you?"

Her temple throbbed again, and she wordlessly made a pebble whizz right for his ear. He promptly had a mini-spazz-attack. "OW!"

"See? Lookie there, Soul, I went easy on you. I had plenty of bigger rocks to choose from. A lot of cacti, too."

He didn't comment at first, and after a few seconds, grabbed her arm. She reflexively flinched, supposing he was finally going to hit her back. But all he did was run his thumb along her arm, making it sting. "You might wanna stop that bleeding. I'd hate for that Kishin to make you bleed out before I could kill ya myself."

She glanced down at her arm to see a rather long gash, fresh blood running down it pretty fast. She must've been so into the fight that she didn't feel it when that Kishin landed a blow on her.

_How the hell'd **he **see that?_

Emily hopped off the seat of the motorcycle, wriggling her arm out of his grip. "Whatever you say. Thanks for the _concern _though, _Sooouuull_," she added in a mockingly sweet voice, making his temple throb.

"Hey. Witch."

She turned to look at him, and he grinned in a rather sinister way. "See? Lookie there, I was being nice, too. I could've pulled that gash apart just a little bit more and sucked your soul right out."

"No _way_."

"You wanna bet?"

"If it could be done, and that's a huge IF, then why didn't you? Huuuuh? I thought I'd make you invincible?"

Soul shrugged. "I'm too cool to take your soul that easy. I wanna kick your ass fair and square."

He leaned towards her a little, making his tone very ominous and making a rather scary face. "OR I COULD JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU FALL ASLEEP TONIGHT!" he bellowed, adding a spooky laugh at the end and waving his hands in her face.

Emily gasped in spite of herself, lower lip trembling. "MAKAAAAAA!"


	7. The Coolest Witch I've Met

**Back again! Thanks again for the new reviews and alerts and faves! Always makes me happy XD**

**Well, you know the drill. Read, review, enjoy, review some more! :D**

* * *

"Thanks again for ratting me out," Soul growled over Maka as she continued to shout at him about scaring their guest.

Emily just smiled innocently, perched on her broom again. "It's your fault for scaring me."

"I scared you, huh? Damn witch."

Maka finally stopped scolding him and waving her book around threateningly, tired again. "You done, Maka?"

"Yes."

"So I can put the bike in motion now without you making me crash."

"Yes."

"Cool."

Emily shifted around on her broom before scrambling to her feet. "What the hell're you doing?" Soul asked with a sweatdrop as she tried to balance on it.

"What does it look like? My ass hurts."

Maka sweatdropped. "...Well...at least she's honest, right?" Her weapon just shook his head and revved the engine.

Emily finally managed to be in a position where she was mainly using her legs to balance, looking sort of like a runner when the gun's about to go off but more relaxed.

She didn't bother with pissing Soul off on the way back; her arm still stung and she was too tired.

Of course, we already knew that'd only last so long. She just didn't expect him to literally be asking for it.

But that's exactly what happened.

She was perched on her broom, minding her own business, thinking about how to take on Medusa once she fell asleep that night. Maka was already fast asleep, head against Soul's back. Not even the bumps were disrupting her sleep.

Emily sure wished there was a way to put brooms on autpilot, but as of yet, she hadn't heard of one.

She had just grasped a concept of a plan when that idiot made her completely lose whatever plan that had been. "HEY!" he suddenly shouted, making her jump.

"What, what, what could you possibly want from me now, WHAT?" she shouted back, huffing at him.

Suddenly, a car honked its horn, nearly running her over. She made a hard swerve and flew upward, and the car honked three more times as it zoomed off, subwoofer blasting.

"...Car."

Emily sweatdropped as she resumed her original position. "Oh, glad you told me. The taillight burning on my arm wasn't a major tip-off..." she muttered, rubbing her right arm.

"You're just careless with your arms, aren't you?"

"I'm careless period," she replied, keeping her eyes on the road. After another couple of minutes of silence, he sighed heavily.

"I can't believe the phrase that's about to come out of my mouth, but...please annoy me."

Emily looked over at him suspiciously. "Why?"

He glanced back at his meister. "With her asleep, it's even easier for _me_ to fall asleep. Which would be kind of bad. So annoy me and make me wanna kill you some more, it keeps me alert."

"What's in it for me?"

"How about I _don't _eat your soul while you're sleeping?"

"Okay, fine! ...Hey, Soul."

"What?"

"My green underwear's missing. Did you take it? ...I'm serious," she added at his expression.

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

"No you're not, because you're wearing them!"

She gaped at him, temple throbbing. "...Do I _want _to know how you know that?"

He rolled his eyes. "Oh. You caught me. I have x-ray vision. ...I'm _serious_," he added in that mockingly sarcastic tone of his.

Her eye twitched with annoyance, and she sighed heavily. "No, really. How the hell'd you know?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"Because like Maka's creepy old dad, I watch the ladies at all times."

Emily's eye-twitching increased. "...No, really. How'd you know, huh?"

"I didn't, I just went on a hunch. But thanks for telling me."

"GAH! HOW DARE YOU USE MY OWN TRICK AGAINST ME!" she shouted, pointing at him accusingly and nearly falling off the broom.

Soul sweatdropped. "...Broom riding skills my ass."

"Shut up! I can ride one better than _you_, Soul!"

"Probably because I've never ridden one before. Don't get too excited."

"I'll get excited if I wanna, so THERE. Shove THAT into a juice box and suck it dry!"

He didn't reply immediately, he just stared at her for a second. Then he just nodded and focused on the road. "Yeah, this whole annoyance thing's definitely working. Keep it up."

Her eye twitched yet again, and for a second she seriously wondered if he had made her develop some kind of paralysis. "Glad I could be of service."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FOUR ****HOURS LATER...**_

Emily hopped off the broom, wiping the blood off of it as Soul picked up Maka. She was nice enough to open the door for them, and Soul smirked. "The damn witch is getting house trained, how nice."

"Just. Walk." she growled, trying not to shout since Maka was asleep. She had a strong feeling that should the blonde be woken up, a painful round of Maka Chops would soon ensue.

Emily glanced at her arm, which had finally stopped bleeding and was starting to scab over like her cheek. _Not like I need any more injuries..._

For whatever reason, that reminded her of her green underwear, which was admittedly very comfortable. _Unlike these jeans._

She glanced down at herself; after lots of begging on her first official day in Death City, Blair had taken her shopping for clothes as _well _as underwear. She was wearing one of the big t-shirts she'd found, not wanting to attract the wrong attention at the cabaret.

"Hmmm..." Emily pondered, leaning over rather idiotically to peer down the hallway. Soul was walking towards his room, and glanced up at her. "...What're you looking at me like that for?"

"Nothing!" she said innocently before ducking back behind the wall separating the hall and the kitchen, making him sweatdrop.

"Damn witch..."

"Good night to you too, Soul," she muttered, waiting for his door to shut. When it finally did, she sprung into action.

She jumped right out of her jeans, took off her socks, and flopped onto her couch. "Hm...Maybe I should try controlling objects some more...Yeah!"

Emily had just started making her socks levitate upwards at a steady rate when she heard Soul's door being flung open.

"EMILYYYY!" he shouted, making Blair yowl at him from some other room before yawning.

Emily jumped, and her sock landed in an abandoned cup that she assumed was left by Blair. "...Y-Yeah?"

He stomped in there, looking rather pissed off. Was it just her imagination, or did his eyes look redder than usual?

Blood red.

She gulped in spite of herself.

"My money's gone."

"So you immediately assume _I _took it?" she exclaimed defensively, standing up in indignation.

He looked at her shirt pointedly. "Where'd you find the money to get the clothes? You _said _you didn't have any money on you."

"Blair."

"Blair doesn't have a job, where'd SHE get all the money?"

"Um...Fish Shop Guy?" she offered with nervous laughter.

"You stole my money, _didn't _you!"

"T-Technically Blair did," she replied, slowly backing towards the door.

"You didn't stop her?"

"I needed clothes!"

"DAMN WITCH, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU-"

"Not gonna happen!" she shouted, enchanting the door to swing open as she made a run for it, hauling ass for the elevator.

* * *

"Come on come on come on come ON," she said anxiously, bouncing in place as she waited for the stupid elevator. Slamming the apartment door in his face would only throw him off for so long as he fumbled with the lock.

Right as he made a mad dash down the hall to grab her, the elevator doors opened, and she enchanted them to close.

"DAMMIT!" Emily heard him shout before taking the stairs. It wouldn't take him long to catch up again, either.

The elevator music that usually made her feel sleepy only made her more anxious, and she sang her own little song as she bounced in place.

"Soooouuulll...is gonna KIIIILLL MEEE...if you don't hurry uppppp and get to the GROUUUNDD LEEVEEEELL...HURRY UP ALREADY!" she screeched, making the fluorescent light above her blow out.

Right after she shouted, the elevator dinged its arrival, sliding open as slowly as possible. "I knew you'd see it my way," she informed the elevator before running out right as Soul flung open the door of the stairwell.

"GOTCHYA!"

"NOT YET YOU DON'T, DUMBASS!" she shouted, though that had been way too close. He had almost grabbed the collar of her shirt, she had felt it on the nape of her neck. It made her shiver.

"Emily the_ goddamn Strange_!"

"You called?" she asked innocently before making the door of the apartment building slam shut in his face, temporarily making him keel over. He got back up a lot quicker than she liked, and she looked around anxiously before getting an idea. "BROOOOM!" she bellowed, enchanting the object from Soul and Maka's apartment.

It zoomed to her through Maka's open window, and Emily hoped it hadn't hit her or her desk on the way through.

She hopped on and was just kicking off the ground when Soul sprinted towards her. "Seeya later, Stick Boy," she said in a sickeningly sweet tone, waggling her fingers goodbye at him.

"Oh no you don't!" he shouted, jumping up to an admittedly impressive height and grabbing her by the ankle. Just like the _last _time she tried to escape him, only that time Maka had been there and almost let him eat her soul.

_Judging by the murderous look on his face, he might not wait for Maka's permission and just kill me now! _"Get off, before you make us crash!" Emily shouted.

"Nope, I think I'm good. I know _I'll _survive," he said in a rather ominous tone.

She turned her head to glare down at him before holding up her hand. As expected, he flinched, ready to be enchanted. Which caused him to let go of her ankle of his _own _accord; how ironic. Unfortunately for her, he grabbed it again with his other hand after stretching up as far as possible.

"Let go!"

"No."

"Let. GO."

"NO!"

"Look down, moron! _Look_!" she exclaimed, pointing. He looked down to see Death City a good hundred and twenty feet below him, and his eyes widened. "...Okay, I'll let go of your ankle."

With that said, he used his other hand to grab her broom, swinging himself up onto it. Emily nearly lost her balance as he did so, and she glared at him. "Stop giving me that look and focus on where you're flying, moron!"

Her temple throbbed as she turned back around, being nice enough to scoot up on her broom a little so he had more room. "Here I am, trying to escape his wrath, and he's giving me orders on what to do when riding something I'm an _expert _at riding."

"And you listen to me anyway because you know you're not as big an expert as you keep _saying _you are," he added smugly.

Emily scoffed. "I could fly with my eyes closed."

"Yeah right!"

She sat up a little straighter, a smile spreading onto her face and a mischievous gleam entering her eyes as she slowly turned her head back towards him.

"...I'll show you."

"No, no, nonononono NO OH GOD NO!" he shouted as she closed her eyes and did a nosedive.

He shouted a drawn-out and terrified "WHOOOAAA" the whole way down (despite how totally uncool it was) as she swerved in and out of the way of various buildings.

Emily had the hugest grin on her face, even though her eyes were closed. She could still picture his expression, and it was hilarious. _Silly Soul, doesn't he realize a witch like me's ridden this thing so much that I can feel the wind changing when I get too close to something?_

"You might wanna hold on to something," she said simply before making a hard turn, flipping a few times and doing a loop-de-loop.

Of _course _she was showing off; it wasn't often she got a chance to. Besides; with a blockhead nonbeliever like Soul, showing off was necessary for him to believe anything involving witchcraft that she might say.

He hadn't listened to her when she said to hold on to something, so now he was groaning to himself. "I told you to hold on," she said with a laugh.

"You could've told me what you were gonna _do_!" he accused. She could tell by his tone that he was having fun, he just didn't want to admit it.

That probably wasn't what he thought a "cool guy" would do.

"Alright, well, I'd _really _hold on this time," she said in that casual tone of hers. This time he listened; apparently this was a situation during which "cool guys" could hold onto a witch's waist for dear life, because he sure as hell did _that _quick enough. Admittedly, she didn't mind too much.

"Here we go!" she said excitedly, locking her legs on the broom before spreading out her arms.

"Oh God, don't do that, we'll – SHIIIIT!" he shouted as they did a nosedive, spiraling the whole way.

She then brought the broom back up by way of one unbelievably wonky figure eight, and she heard him laugh no matter _how _quickly he made himself stop once he saw her grin. "About time you opened your damn eyes, psycho witch," he muttered.

Emily grinned. "Don't even try to act like that wasn't fun; I don't care _what _you think's cool, that was epic and you know it. C'mon, try holding your arms out."

"No."

"C'mooooon," she urged, holding her own arms out again. "It feels so cool!"

He _crossed _his arms instead and angled his face away like a little kid refusing to eat cauliflower. "No way, this isn't some Disney movie."

"You _know _you want to."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Do it or I'll purposely crash into a building and lock you in a room with Nurse Blair as she heals your wounds."

His temple throbbed, glaring at her. She glared right back, and he finally sighed. "Fine." Emily watched with amusement as he spread out his arms, trying to look like it was the worst punishment in the world.

"Oh, please, kill the enthusiasm. You're too happy, Soul."

"You never said I had to _act _like I wanted to."

"True. Fine, go ahead."

Almost as soon as he thought she wasn't looking, he grinned just a little, looking down at Death City.

That was when she looked down at the City for the first time, and she started grinning like an idiot too. It looked awesome, what with all the lights looking like orbs and the random people looking like ants. If she tried really hard, she could make out the apartment. Chupa Cabra's stuck out like a sore thumb, of course.

And then there was the Gallows Mansion over there to their right, and then the DWMA. She made a sharp swerve towards it, making Soul shout a string of curses at her for it. She ignored him, landing smoothly on one of the balconies of the Academy. Emily then enchanted the broom to make it tip all the way upward; Soul promptly slid off and fell on his ass.

She started laughing, and his temple throbbed. "Funny, funny." Emily ignored him as he mumbled some more stuff about how uncool of her that was, looking around.

"...Huh. Hardly seems fair; you get to go to school in a place like _this _every day," she said thoughtfully.

He trailed off with the death threats as she continued to look around, twirling slightly to make sure she hadn't missed anything. "At my old school, our best view was a garden that was kind of lower than the rest of the ground. We called it the Dungeon Garden, 'cause there was a door leading to an old basement with shackles from where they used to punish alleged witches when the Salem Witch Trials first started."

"Salem Witch Trials?"

_Huh, he's actually paying attention. And here I thought I was talking to myself. _She turned to look at him. "You've never heard of the Salem Witch Trials?"

"Nope. Different universe, remember?"

"Oh, right. Well, it happened about 400 years ago, give or take a day. Basically these girls claimed women in their village were bewitching them, all so they wouldn't get in trouble for having been caught by one of the fathers in the attic with the slave Tituba, getting curious with witchcraft themselves. They were sort of like...the ones that fed the fire against witches. I mean, people have _always _believed that we're blood-drinking, Satan-worshipping, evil, vile, ugly men and women who curse every person we don't like and one of the main causes for all the bad in the world. Some even think we're hell personified; I've had more than a few stones thrown at me before, and plenty of people shouting outside our house, all because of those silly fears. Those girls in Salem just turned that fire into a blazing, out-of-control wildfire. ...But as for the Trials, by the time they stopped hunting down and persecuting innocent citizens of Salem, more than twenty-four men and women had lost their lives. Either from hanging, stoning, or dying in prison. It was _terrible _for witchkind, seeing people suffer for a huge fear of an evil that wasn't even that strong."

"...I take it that pisses you off? That they treat witches like that?"

Emily made a thoughtful noise as she tried to walk on one of the cracks running along the balcony, holding her arms out like a tightrope walker and putting one foot carefully in front of the other. "No, not that. Well, yeah, a bit. Less people on my back about something I was born with would be nice. But what _really _pisses me off is that people are _always _killing people for the wrong reasons back in my world. I don't know if it's the same here. I hope not. It _sucks_, people killing people for no good reason. Especially when they're all hopped up on fear."

Soul's tone was thoughtful as he said slowly, "One of the main teachings of the Academy is that fear's what makes us stronger. But I guess sometimes...it could work both ways."

Emily nodded. "Yeah, I think so too. Lord Death's theory seems to work wonders on _y'all_, but...when _ignorant _people get scared...you know, now that I think about it, I think the Academy's completely right. The problem isn't the fear; the problem is when people let fear control them."

"I think you're right."

Her head shot up, looking at him in shock. "What? Soul Eater Evans admits _I'm _right?" she asked with mock alarm.

He waved her off, turning away to lean against the stone railing of the balcony. "Don't get used to it."

She leaned against it next to him, waving _him _off. "Oh, I think you'll find once you admit it once, it comes to be a regular occurrence. Contrary to popular belief, I'm _more _than capable of thoughts."

He looked at her for a second, almost grinning. "I know you are. That's the problem, you think too much."

She looked at _him _for a second, almost grinning too. "And you think too little."

"I think enough to think you're such a damn witch."

"Yeah, well I think enough to think you're such a damn...damn...pointy object!" she declared as if that were the world's most offensive insult.

Soul sweatdropped, just staring at her for a second. "...Part time, of course," she added as if that made it any better._ Good God, I really **am **an idiot...C'mon, Emmy, your comebacks are usually so much better than that! What's different, huh? Is it all the fresh air?_

Then he started laughing, which kind of alarmed her. He wasn't laughing _at _her this time, he was just...laughing. It was quite unlike him, from what she could tell in the short time she'd known him.

"Why're you laughing all...non-mocking-like? It's kinda creepy."

"Oh, nothing. I just realized that even though you're a pain in the ass, you're still the coolest witch I've met."

"Well, considering the only other witch I know you've met was Medusa, who seems to love to torture and kill people...I would _hope _so."

"I thought _you _wanted to kill me for destroying your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle houseshoes?"

"Oh, I do. And I will. But at least _you'll _die for a good cause. Medusa didn't have one, I'll bet my new green underwear on it."

"True. But you won't kill me if I kill you _first_."

"How many times do I have to _tell ya_, Stick Boy? I'll kill you before you even know what hit you."

"Not likely. You couldn't be quiet if your fricking _life _depended on it."

"...Point," Emily admitted, sighing in defeat. Then she brightened. "But I can still ride a broom _much _better than you. You screamed like a little girl!"

"I didn't, you damn witch!"

"Yes, you called?"

"Oh, ha ha. That was even funnier the first time, when you slammed the glass door in my face. Y'know, I think Medusa said something like that too when she was bargaining for her release."

Her eyebrows shot up. "What? Medusa? They let her go? ...Whoa, WAIT. They caught her to _begin _with? I thought she was dead."

"She is. She was. Yes. No. Wait, repeat all that? You talk too fast."

"Maybe you comprehend what I'm saying too slow."

"...OR, maybe you talk too fast," Soul insisted.

"...Yeah, there's that. But for the sake of time, let's just admit you're wrong. 'Cause we already know I'm always right."

"...Y'know, I'm not even gonna argue. So, repeat all that for those who don't comprehend fast enough."

"I shall! Since you're so slow and all. I _said_...'What? Medusa? They let her go? ...Whoa, WAIT. They caught her to _begin _with? I thought she was dead.' ...Actually, yeah, that _is _what I said! Whoa, I remembered word for word!"

She was so happy that her magic got out of hand again, and the broom whacked him in the face. Again.

"Oww, dammit, not cool!"

"Sorry!" she nearly squeaked, laughing nervously.

Soul rubbed his poor face, shaking his head. "...So you wanna know about Medusa, huh?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious? I want her out of my head."

"That's just...creepy, but anyway. Yeah, see, Medusa infiltrated the DWMA as a nurse, and..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"...Oh. That explains the unbelievable amount of dark energy I sense. She sounds like a bitch."

"She was. You have no idea how much trouble she caused everybody, especially Crona. Which in turn made it hell for Maka."

"Maka and Crona are close, I take it."

"She's the one that helped get him sane. At first the guy wouldn't even leave a _room _without Maka."

He looked at her suddenly, making her jump. "Whatever you do, don't read his poetry. It'll make you wish you'd never been born, it's so depressing."

"Noted." Emily let out a whistle. "So, Maka defeated the Kishin. I can't believe you, _Stick Boy_, were strong enough to help her out along the way. I could probably break you in half like a twig."

His temple throbbed. "Yeah, I'd like to see you try."

"Alright, just a second."

He just laughed again, and Emily grinned. "This whole laughing thing, it's odd. I didn't think you could laugh with me instead of at me. It's very..._cool_ of you."

Soul crossed his arms smugly. "Of course I'm cool, Emily the Strange. Was there ever a doubt in your mind?"

"A huge one."

His temple throbbed, and she laughed before summoning her broom. "Soul Eater Evans, I believe you have school tomorrow."

_That was easily the longest time I've gone without wanting to kill him. Actually, that's the **only **time I've gone without wanting to kill him. And hands down the best time I've had on a broom, especially at night._

"Hey."

She turned to look at him, broom in hand. "Yeah?"

"I'm still gonna eat your soul."

She felt herself smiling. "Of course. I wouldn't expect anything less." Emily hopped onto her broom, then turned to look at him again. "You coming? Or are you just gonna stay here all night?"


	8. Paranoia's Never A Good Thing To Have!

**Back! Shocker, I know. Okay, so I decided to try my hand at doing multiple POVs of not just my OC, but with canon characters!**

**...Oh, jeez...hope I didn't commit an epic failure...or worse...JUST A FAILURE. AH! **

**...Ahem. Anyways, ONE MORE THING. It's about PMs. If you've tried to talk to me and I haven't replied in more than a day, or it told you I've disabled PMs, don't listen. It's lies. THE CAKE IS A LIE! 8D**

**Sorry, gaming nerd. But yeah, it disables itself as soon as I log off FF for the night, so just try resending the PM some time after 3 that afternoon. I get home from school around 2:45, so I should be on here by then to at least check reviews for all my stories, probably even to update a chapp of something.**

**Probably another chapp of this. XD**

**Well, anyways. Read, review, enjoy, review some more, ENJOOOOOY! :D**

* * *

Okay, so maybe the witch was admittedly cool. After thinking about it during about half of the flight back to the apartment, Soul decided it'd be best for him if he tried to be a bit more...less-rude to her.

Yeah.

Not _nice_, that's the equivalent of _defeat_, and people would rub it in his face for years to come. Even if she was the most annoyingly frustrating girl he'd ever met, he'd have to try and lighten up.

_Now...how to start doing that...? I guess it'd be like how I treat Tsubaki, or Liz and Patty. Yeah...but how do I do that? They're infinitely easier to get along with than that damn witch – oh, I could start off by dropping the "damn" part. ...Naaahh, I can't do that. That's her name, that would be rude to change it this late in the game, wouldn't it?_

He ended up trailing off mid-thought when he noticed something he hadn't noticed earlier. She wasn't wearing any pants. _How the hell did I not notice that? The wind must've blown that shirt up a few times, and it'd be kind of hard to miss neon lime green underwear...but somehow you did it. Way to go, Soul._

His jaw dropped as she unconsciously shifted her legs, hitching the shirt up and inadvertently allowing him and all of Death City to see a flash of her underwear.

...If all of Death City were staring at her ass, that is. Emily glanced back at him, and he spastically straightened his whole body as if he hadn't been looking at aforementioned ass. "Soul?"

"Huh, what?" he asked quickly, and he could tell she knew something was up. Then again, he _did_ just make an idiot out of himself. ...Hey, he was a guy. How was he not supposed to look at neon green lacy underwear on _any_ girl?

"...Nothing. You were just quiet for a while, I was making sure you were still back there. But now that I look atchya...are you alright? You look all flustery."

"Yeah, I'm still here, still cool."

"So I see."

He paled when she mentioned seeing things, which made her eyebrows shoot up. "...Are you _sure_ you're alright?" _Dammit, stop asking that! It's making it worse!_

"Fine, totally fine. Why do you ask?" he asked in that quick tone again, making him want to facepalm himself.

Emily just shook her head and turned back around, and her shoulders started shaking as if she were laughing. But no way was she laughing at _him_. It was his job to laugh at _her_. He was cool, after all.

_...Then again, do cool guys get caught looking at a witch's underwear? ...Yeah, I'm sure they do. Definitely. _

Finally, he was spared as they descended in front of the apartment complex. Emily hopped off her broom, and Soul sighed with relief as her t-shirt went back down to its normal length.

_Stupid hormones._

She turned to look at him, grinning smugly. _How the hell'd she know?_ He wondered, slightly panicky. If anyone else found out he had been staring at her ass, his reputation would never be the same.

And it sure as hell took him long enough to get it.

But all she said was, "So, you're not gonna kill me for the money thing?".

Soul was so relieved that he laughed again. "Nah, I think I'll wait and kill you when I've got ninety-two more Kishin souls in my stomach."

She nodded. "Awesome. That means I have until ninety-two more Kishin souls are in your stomach to get strong enough to fend you off."

"You could always break me in half," he pointed out as they waited for the elevator.

It dinged right as she grinned, and he sweatdropped after noticing the black stain all over the wall. "What the hell did that?"

Emily poked her index fingers together guiltily, sighing heavily in defeat. "Meeee..." He sweatdropped again, and was about to say something when she started randomly singing. "Booty, booty, it's just a booty call! Booty, booty, even if you're boo-tiful! It's just a booty call!"

He promptly spazzed out, pressing himself against the wall of the elevator in an admittedly moronic way. "W-W-Whaaaat did you say?" he shouted, making her sweatdrop.

**A/N: Okay, just thought I'd tell you that I'm now laughing hysterically because "Love in an Elevator" by Aerosmith just came blasting onto the tv in the other room. ...Oh, c'mon, that's funny XD. Okay, well, ON WITH THE STORY! MY APOLOGIES!**

"...It's a song. 'Booty Call,' by The Midnight Beast. Jeez, you're such a spazz." And with that, she started laughing. Which just made his temple throb as he huffed and resumed his normal position.

_I wonder if she's dropping subtle hints like that on purpose. I swear, she knows I was looking at her ass. You know what, I should throw HER off INSTEAD._

And that's why when the elevator finally dinged onto the third floor, when she asked oh-so-innocently, "Soul?", he shouted back, "YES I SAW YOUR UNDERWEAR, WHAT OF IT?"

Emily stared at him for a second, sweatdropping to the max. "...Um...what?"

"I know you know I saw your underwear earlier, you caught me looking at your ass!"

"I did?"

"...Well, yeah...isn't that why you were singing that song about booty calls?"

"...No, I just happen to like that song..."

"...Well, then, it's a good thing. Because I was just trying to _trick you_!"

Emily stared at him some more before shaking her head and walking through the open door. "Soul, just go to sleep. Obviously the lack of rest is screwing with your head."

"Yeah, maybe you're right."

She turned around on her heel to point at him. "Ah-_ha_! See, told you! Once you admit I'm right once, it just becomes a common occurrence!"

Soul's temple throbbed, and she waved him off. "I know, I know. 'Damn witch,' 'Don't get used to it,' all that jazz. Go to bed."

His jaw dropped as she promptly grabbed some food out of his fridge. Well, technically his and Maka's fridge, but still. Emily turned back around towards the couch, noticed his expression, and made a face at him that was half pout and half glare. "You're still here? Get some sleep!"

His jaw dropped even further, complete with a noise of disbelief. _Not even here more than a week, and she's already acting like she belongs here. And ordering me around!_

And yet, he found that his legs were moving towards his room. _And I'm obeying her? What's **wrong **with me? ...Huh. Maybe it really **is **the sleep deprivation. Maybe she's right. ...Oh. I admitted she was right again. _

_Something really **is **wrong with me...!_

* * *

Blair woke up yet again when she heard the fridge door shutting. As she stretched her perfectly sleek cat body, she heard Emily's voice.

"You're still here? Get some sleep!"

Her cat ears twitched with curiosity, as did her whiskers. With another glance at Maka, who was dead asleep, she crept out of the girl's room and into the hallway.

She saw Soul gaping at Emily before stomping towards his room with a pissy expression. Blair meowed with delight; he hadn't murdered her after all! So naturally, she followed him into his room. "Welcome back, Soul," she said cheerfully.

"Eh."

He never seemed to mind her presence during the nighttime, so long as she was in her cat form or at least had her boobs completely stored inside some form of clothing. That last one was hardly ever an actual occurrence, of course. But, as he liked to say when she pointed this out, "I can dream."

"May I ask why the change of heart? It was the underwear, wasn't it?" she asked, half-joking. To her surprise (and extreme amusement), the young scythe jumped about a foot off the ground and gaped at her.

"...U-Uh, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh my, so something _did _happen," Blair said eagerly, ears sticking straight up and tail bristling with excitement.

"No."

"Then why're you so jumpy, huh?"

"Because I'm tired and the last thing I need is a sex kitten in my room."

"Soul Eater Evans, you liar. You and I both know you never mind me popping into your room during the night, just like Maka doesn't mind when I pop into hers." She grinned a toothy cat grin as his expression shifted from anxious to pissed; he hated when she called him by his full name.

"Go cough up a hairball or something!"

"So what, you kissed and made up? _Huuuuh_?"

"Go away! Nothing like that happened!"

"C'moooon, Soul, you can tell me! I won't tell! I _saw _you two kissing on the broom all the way from up here, no point in keeping me in the dark!"

His temple throbbed. "...Alright, now you're just making stuff up. Lemme sleep, will ya?"

Blair pouted, huffed, and pranced right out, tail straight as a rod in defiance. "Fine. Be that way. I'm sure _Emily _will tell me!"

"Fine, go ask her."

"I will!"

"Good!"

"Night, Soul!" she called out cheerfully.

She giggled as he sighed heavily at their whole conversation. "...Night, Blair." Blair practically skipped down the hall and next to the couch; Emily was eating some random food, the tv was on, but...something just didn't seem right.

Blair's tail started swishing back and forth with curiosity and slight worry, looking up at the young witch. "...Why're you watching tv with the sound off? It's late, y'know."

Emily jumped so bad she nearly choked on her food, and Blair's amber eyes widened. "Oh no! I don't know the Heimlich Maneuver that well, either! Hold on, Emily!" she exclaimed as she hopped onto the couch and hit the teen's back with her paw as hard as she could. Which was pretty hard, of course, with a fit body like hers. Duh!

Emily coughed one last time, temple throbbing. "...Thanks, Blair."

"Anytime!" she replied with a wide smile. She then hopped onto the cushion next to Emily. "So, what's with the sudden streak of nocturnalness?"

The younger girl glanced at her from the side of her eyes, almost as if she were nervous. "...Honestly?"

"Mmhm!"

"...I'm...kinda...not looking forward to going to sleep."

Blair tilted her head to the side. "Is it because of that séance? Because _I _had a few sleepless nights after that myself. Luckily, I had _plenty _of ways to occupy myself!" she said rather suggestively, making Emily flush.

"U-Uh, thanks for sharing, but I could've gone my whole life without knowing that."

Blair just shrugged, and Emily sighed. "And it's _partly _because of the séance, that was pretty freaky, but...mostly because of Medusa herself. She's been in my dreams for a long time now, close to three months."

"Three months?"

Now Blair was interested.

Emily nodded. "Yeah. At first, she was just there in fleeting glances. You know? Like that one dream that's more like an _intermission _between dreams, and you can only remember having it for like three seconds before skipping right on to another dream?"

"Sure, I have those all the time!"

"Well, _she _was my intermission dream. It'd be...kind of like that movie The Ring, when the random images flash up between things. Have you seen that?"

"Can't say I have, but it sounds cool!"

"We're gonna rent it one day, and you'll see it. Promise. But anyway, it would just be an image of her, or her snake tattoos, or something like that. But now..."

Blair's ears twitched with more concern as Emily shivered. "She _is_ my dream. And she refuses to shut up."

"I...don't know what to tell ya, Emily. That's awful. That witch was terrible enough seeing her just once, and I was pretty far away that time! ...I remember it, though. She was walking down the steps of the Academy like she owned all of Death City, in that little girl's body, and...oh, it was awful. No wonder you don't wanna sleep!"

Emily sweatdropped. "...Thanks so much for those beautiful words of encouragement. If I make it through, it'll be sure to thank you in my courageous speech."

Blair beamed. "That'd be so sweet of you!"

Emily sweatdropped again and shook her head slowly as she finished up her dinner, sprawling out on the couch. "Right." After a few quiet minutes, Blair could see her eyelids drooping, so she decided to help the kid fall asleep in the best way she knew.

Well, as far as female friends were concerned.

She curled herself up in the gap between her stomach and the couch. Like nearly every other human would do, Emily started scratching her behind the ears almost without even thinking about it. Blair started purring, and in five minutes tops Emily's breathing had slowed with sleep.

After a few minutes, she carefully wriggled out from under her drooping arm and crept throughout the apartment. Maka was in the same position as before, still in her meister outfit that Soul had dropped her on her bed in.

"Poor girlie. She's gonna Maka Chop him for _sure _once she sees the stains from her shoes," Blair commented to herself with a shake of the head at the shoe-shaped dirt stains around Maka.

Soul was finally asleep as well, arms folded behind his head and laying flat on his back, headphones in his ears; as far as Blair knew, he was the only person besides herself that slept on his back. Of course, she only slept like that in human form. _Well, no, I do that sometimes in kitty-cat form, too...oh well!_ Blair thought with a shrug and happy meow.

She hopped onto his bed and sniffed him out of habit; she had done that to Maka earlier and nearly keeled over since the meister had been doing most of the physical labor out of the two.

"Ya know, kid, you really are pretty cute," she purred before meowing again and hopping off. "I should really convince someone to make some pumpkin pie tomorrow," Blair mused to herself as she went back to the den.

Now that she'd checked on everyone, she decided Emily deserved a little more attention than the other two.

It was only fair; the other two had dealt with her curling up beside them already, anyways. Emily had never had that wonderful priviledge yet.

"And then tomorrow, it's back to surprising Soul by changing into my bikini at the last possible second while curled up at the foot of his bed!" she said gleefully with a cat stretch and yawn, curling back up in that gap between Emily's stomach and the edge.

It was a nice gap. Perfect for the curves of her flawless body.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

"SOOOOOUL?" Maka shouted, voice filled with rage. It made Emily jump right out of her latest nightmare courtesy of Medusa, and she sighed with relief.

"Oh, perfect timing. A good old-fashioned distraction of pure violence." As she had expected, Maka banged on Soul's door. Emily scratched Blair's ears, having noticed the cat was still curled up where she had been before.

She seemed to appreciate this, purring almost immediately.

"Unnnh, what?" Soul groaned as his door creaked open. Emily felt a twinge of guilt; she _had _kept him up rather late last night.

Then again, it was Soul Eater Evans; considering all he'd done to her in the short time they'd met, he _deserved_ a sleepless night or two.

At least, she thought so. He did, didn't he? Of course he did, why wouldn't he? _Right? Right? RIGHT. Right!_

"Makaaaa CHOP!"

"OW!"

She laughed despite herself; Soul being a victim of Maka's Book of Doom was always hilarious.

"Talk about a wake-up-call," he muttered, rubbing his head as he stomped out of his room.

Maka just smiled at him. "You don't want to be late, do you? Better get dressed, ehhh?"

Soul's temple throbbed, and he narrowed his eyes at her briefly before stomping back into his room. Maka and Emily exchanged a look before snickering.

"_I _sure appreciated your wake-up-call, Maka."

"Why thank you, Emily!"

"Any time."

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

Her pulse was pounding like crazy as she maneuvered through the dungeon-like hallways. If they had always been giving him a room down here, she could _totally _understand why he wouldn't leave without Maka.

According to Maka, Crona was still expelled from those mess of events back with the Kishin. Lord Death was still working out the details of his reinstatement.

Until then, he had a ton of time to kill. Just like Emily.

She couldn't believe she was doing this. It probably wouldn't end well. But what else was she going to do?

If anyone could help her with Medusa, it was Crona. Besides...

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"No, no, I _swear _I saw it!" Black Star insisted. They were currently killing time in Dr. Stein's class as he prepared yet another dissection. One would think after that whole madness thing, he'd be more wary about his love for dissection.

_Some things just never change..._

Everyone but Tsubaki rolled their eyes, and Kid sweatdropped. "This coming from the same person Tsubaki asked me to help drag away from his pull-up bar? How do we know you didn't imagine the whole thing?"

"I didn't hallucinate, dammit! DEATH BUCKS _WAS _HAVING A LIMITED-TIME-ONLY SALE, I SWEAR!"

Maka's sweatdrops increased even more. "You _do _realize this is the most idiotic thing you could possibly fight about, right?"

"Of course," Liz replied, blowing on her newly-repolished nails. "That's why it's so fun to watch." Patty paused in her coloring of a random worksheet to nod happily in agreement.

Black Star stood out of his seat, puffing up his chest and striking his infamous Heroic Pose. "C'mon, Tsubaki. You believe me, don't you?"

Tsubaki sweatdropped. "W-Well, uh, of course I do!"

Maka's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "Way to not encourage your partner, Tsubaki." The weapon just laughed nervously, and Soul continued to try and go back to sleep. Until Maka did that damn Maka Chop across his head again.

"Dammit!"

"Wake up! Not my fault you stayed up so late!"

Black Star shook his head at his friend's sorry state. "Man, sometimes I pity you mere mortals. Someone as big as me bounces back from lack of sleep quicker than lightning!" Suddenly, he seemed to have a thought. "Hey, you know what else I saw last night? I coulda _sworn _I saw a broom or somethin' with a couple people on it. It was freaky, it flew right past the moon and everything."

Kid sweatdropped. "Now I'm positive. You were _definitely _hallucinating."

"Wait, a _broom_...? Was there a girl on it?" Maka asked slowly. Soul's face fell; she was thinking. That was _never _a good thing for him.

Black Star shrugged. "Looked like it. There was someone else on it, too, though. I think a guy, but I couldn't really tell."

Soul's temple throbbed. "Hey, what the hell do you _mean _you couldn't tell!"

Everyone looked at him with sweatdrops, and Maka's eyes widened. "So _that's _what you were doing?"

Soul huffed and made a point of looking in the other direction. "I dunno what you're talking about."

"That would explain why-"

"Maka, Soul," Stein called from the front of the class, having just finished shaving all the excess fur off the stomach of a beaver. The two looked over at him, and he cocked his head towards the door. "Lord Death wants you in the Death Room. You're excused from class, go on."

**_

* * *

_**

**_MEANWHILE..._**

After a ton of clueless wandering, Emily finally found the door she'd been looking for. She paused in front of it, pulse pounding again. _Are you sure you wanna do this? I mean, you barely know the guy. In fact, the only reason you know his name is because someone else mentioned it; you embarrassed the hell outta him from the looks of things. ...No, no, stop spazzing yourself out. All you gotta do is not let that Ragnarok guy touch your underwear. Should be easy enough._

"C'mon, you've come all this way, just _do it_!" Emily hissed to herself. With a determined nod at herself, she knocked on the door. "Hello? Crona?"

There was a long pause before she finally heard a reply. "Who...Who's there?"

"Uh, it's Emily. The witch- u-uuhhh, the good one, that is. Can I come in?"

Another long pause, during which she heard hushed shouting. "...Y-Yes!"

"Thanks." She opened the door, and he was sitting on his bed. A pillow was close at hand. He looked up and over at her, and she smiled. "Hi. I didn't really get a chance to introduce myself properly the last time."

He started turning a little red at the very _mention _of that Underwear Incident, and blinked in surprise as she held out her hand. "Hello, Crona. I'm Emily Dia Bishop."

He stared up at her for a second before slowly grabbing her hand and shaking it. "I'm Crona." Once they broke the contact, he fiddled with one of his unevenly-yet-somehow-evenly-cut pale pink bangs. "I-I'm still not too good when it comes to talking to girls."

Emily smiled again and waved him off. "No problem, neither am I sometimes. They confuse the hell outta me, too."

Ragnarok suddenly popped up, pointing a finger at her. "Hey, what the hell're you doing here?" he demanded to know. Emily flinched at the sudden loudness, temple throbbing.

"I'm here to talk to Crona, thanks very much." She looked at Crona again, smiling some more. "You wanna go somewhere?"

"Shouldn't you be in school with everyone else?"

Emily shook her head quickly. "Nope! I'm just a witch, I don't have a weapon and I'm not a meister. So just like you and Ragnarok here, I've got a lot of spare time. Whaddaya say?"

Crona stood, but then shifted awkwardly, not looking at her. "...Why are you here for me?"

She grinned. "Well for one thing, your pal there never really apologized for the Underwear Incident."

Ragnarok started laughing almost more obnoxiously than Black Star. "Ha! Dream on, kid! The day I apologize to you'll be a cold damn day in hell!"

"Ragnarok," Crona warned. This seemed to make him even more amused. "Whatchya gonna do, huh Crona?" he asked mockingly, giving his meister a rather painful-looking noogie.

"OUCH, STOP, THAT HURTS!"

"SAY YOU'RE SORRY!"

"BUT I DIDN'T _DO _ANYTHING!"

"YOU SCOLDED ME, YOU BRAT! AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU OVER THE YEARS, YOU _SNAPPED _AT ME!"

"OKAY, OKAY, I'M _SORRY_!"

Emily sweatdropped as they continued to fight. _...I...am **so **glad I don't have a weapon or meister._


	9. Crona & Adjust and Runs!

**Back again! Happy late Thanksgiving, by the way. Thanks for the reviews and alerts and faves, keep it up please! They make me happy ^^**

**Weeeelll, that's pretty much all I have left to say.**

**So read, review, review some more, and ENJOOOOOY! :D**

**

* * *

**

"You wished to see us, Lord Death?" Maka asked cheerfully as they walked into the Death Room. Lord Death was standing in front of his mirror, as always. "Ah, yes. First off, how's it going you two?" he asked, turning away from the mirror.

Maka's temple throbbed as Soul yawned rather loudly. "Just fine."

"Good to hear it! Sleeping well?"

"As good as usual."

"Still healthy, no illness bothering you?"

"Didn't you wanna see us for something?" Soul asked suddenly, making Maka's temple throb again.

Lord Death started bouncing slightly, as per usual. "Right you are! It's about Emily."

"Shocker," Soul muttered with a sweatdrop. Even Maka had to admit, that had been pretty obvious. Especially when Emily was currently clearly visible on a portion of Lord Death's mirror.

"Any suspicious behavior as of yet?"

Weapon and meister exchanged a look. Should they tell him about her dreams of Medusa she'd mentioned? Before she had even really thought about it, Maka found herself saying, "No sir, not yet."

"Good! Very good. I hope it stays that way. Keep watching carefully; we can't afford to turn our backs on her just yet. We thought Medusa had good intentions as well, remember?"

They nodded. "That being said, I want you two to let her come with you on more of your assignments, ok?" he asked, making their jaws drop.

"WHAT?"

"Whaaat, why the surprise?" he asked like a teenager being scorned. "When she snuck after you the last time, she seemed to be at least a little bit of a help. Given a chance, I think she could prove to be very useful."

Maka stood on her tiptoes and tilted her head to look over Lord Death's shoulder, making him and Soul sweatdrop. "What's she doing now?"

"Oh, that. I have no idea, to be honest with ya. But she has Crona with her, that much I do know."

Soul made that weird thinking noise of his, while Lord Death shooed them. "Alright, you guys can go now. Maybe you'll be able to catch the last bit of Dr. Stein's lesson if you hurry."

"Do we have to?"

He sweatdropped. "...Just get to class."

Once they were out of his ear shot and almost out of the Death Room entirely, Maka turned her head to the right to look at her partner. "Soul, what're you thinking?"

"...I dunno, I'm thinking...that this damn witch really knows how to get around."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"So how long've you been in Death City, Crona?"

He shrugged. "Not too long. A few months, maybe."

Emily nodded. "Cool, so at least _one _of us knows where we're going."

"...Well, I wouldn't say _that_..."

They both sweatdropped. "Wait, so where're we going?"

"I don't know, I was following you!"

"Why would you follow me? I've been here a grand total of a week and a half!"

"You've been out here more than I have, Emily!"

Emily sweatdropped. "That's hard to believe. Wait, so does that mean we're lost? Seriously?"

Crona groaned. "No, we can't be lost! I dunno how to deal with being lost, I just don't!"

"Neither do I!" Emily wailed.

Ragnarok suddenly popped out of Crona again, smacking them both across the faces. "GET A GRIP, YOU IDIOTS! THERE'S A MAP RIGHT THERE!"

"...There is?" they both asked slowly. Ragnarok grabbed Crona's head by both sides and forced him to look to his right.

"Ow, stop it, that hurts!"

"Look, moron, LOOK. Map. Right there. Do you understand, or should I _beat it _into you?"

"I understand, let go now! You're stretching my face, I can't deal with premature wrinkle lines like that!"

Emily sweatdropped. _...He's gotta be the only guy I know who worries about wrinkles. Except maybe Kid; wrinkles can be dangerously asymmetrical. _She followed him over to the map, peering down at it. "So, unless this map's lying, we are currently _here_," she muttered, pointing to a giant star on the map.

"No shit, Sherlock," Ragnarok muttered.

"NO ONE ASKED YOU," she snapped.

"I don't need permission to talk down to someone as weak and moronic as you!"

"SAYS YOU! DO YOU WANT ME TO SURGICALLY REMOVE YOU FROM CRONA?"

"PLEASE DO!" Ragnarok and Crona shouted in desperation, making her sweatdrop.

She drooped. "You weren't supposed to take me seriously!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

_**TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP.**_

"Maka, chill out."

"What do you mean? I'm totally fine," she insisted as she continued to tap her pencil against the desk at a furious rate.

Soul sweatdropped. "I can see that. Why're you so worried, anyways? Is it because Blair's at home and has free use of the oven? I swear, if she burns the apartment down, so help me –"

Maka sighed impatiently. "No, that's not it!"

He waited for her to continue, then sighed when she just continued her stupid tapping. "...Am I supposed to guess or something?"

"..."

"I take that as a yes. What, did you pick up the wrong underwear or something today?"

Her temple throbbed. "...No."

"Is it because of all the stains on your bed from the stupid shoes?"

Her temple throbbed even more. "...NO, but that definitely pissed me off, too. Thanks for reminding me, Soul!"

He sighed impatiently. "Just talk to me, will ya!"

She huffed and looked straight ahead, and he tilted his head to the side. "...It's Emily and Crona, isn't it? You're just a little worried about what she wants to talk with him for?"

She folded her arms onto the desk, looking down at them. "She asked me if it was true that Medusa was Crona's mother. I told her, 'Yes.' She asked if he had complained about hearing her voice tell him to do things. I told her he had a couple times. She asked where she could find him. So I told her. ...I don't want her upsetting him. Not after how much he's improved around people. What if she makes his walls go back up?"

Soul shrugged. "I dunno, Maka. What if he'll help her, though? You gotta let him stand on his own; he's gonna remember all that happened whether Emily asks him about it or not."

She didn't respond, and after a few moments of hearing that stupid tapping again, he sighed heavily. "You wanna find out for yourself, don't you?"

"...Maybe," she admitted quietly.

"Cut class."

"WHAT?"

Everyone around them shushed them (they were supposed to be taking a pop quiz over something stupid that Soul couldn't care less about), making Maka's temple throb.

"Way to go and get me in trouble," she hissed.

He rolled his eyes. "C'mon, if it's gonna bug you so much not knowing, why not go find out?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****, ****HOURS LATER...**_

After a LOT of aimless wandering (in which Ragnarok proved to be the most annoying peanut gallery she'd ever dealt with, even worse than Soul and Black Star combined), they had successfully gotten some Death Robbins ice cream and were sitting on a wall.

"It's always so interesting to watch people," Emily said thoughtfully as they watched the passersby.

Crona nodded before peering over at her. "Emily, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What're your parents like?" he asked hesitantly, almost as if he were embarrassed to ask.

Emily shrugged. "Not much to tell ya, there. I never knew my dad, and I assume my mom's in Louisiana somewhere. She was a good mom, even if other parents didn't see that. I mean, we're witches; our methods for everything are pretty...'unconventional'. Apparently, child services saw her methods a bit _too_ unconventional just because she tried to teach my sister and I how to use our magic right. We were forced into the system when I was ten, until my Aunt Cassandra found us in a foster home in Missouri and gained custody. I was thirteen and my sister was sixteen. We've been in Salem ever since."

"Oh, I see. ...Did you...did you love her?"

"...Yeah. A lot."

"Do you miss her?"

"All the time." She glanced sideways at him. _Here goes nothing..._ "What about _your _mom?"

He paled, and she started regretting she had asked. But to her surprise, he answered in a voice that was barely shaky at all. "My mom wasn't a good mom. Not at all. I don't think she wanted to be."

"...Well...did you love her?"

"Yeah, a lot. No matter how much I hated it."

Emily shrugged. "I don't blame you. No matter what, a mom's God in the eyes of her children."

"That's...really profound."

"Not really. I heard it off of Silent Hill."

"Silent Hill?"

"It's a movie."

"O-Oh, I see."

Emily pretended to pick invisible lint off her shirt so she wouldn't have to look at him as she asked, "W-Wasn't your mom...Medusa?"

"...How'd you know?"

"She...She's been talking to me. A lot. And I don't know how to shut her up."

He smiled slightly at that, but then it was gone after he processed what she was saying. His pale eyes practically bugged out of their sockets. "Wait...she's alive?" he asked in a dumbfounded and shaky voice.

"No, not really. She's very dead, she just doesn't like it. See, I don't know if anyone explained it to you, but I'm a medium. That means I can talk to the dead, and unfortunately it works both ways. Medusa's been in my nightmares for a long time now, and now she's all I see at night. I...it worries me. She won't leave. I was hoping...maybe...you knew how to fix that?"

There was a really long stretch of silence, and then he set his spoon back into the cup of Death Robbins and nodded. "My mom...she liked to prey on the mind. She liked knowing your weaknesses and using them against you. Try to not let your emotions run wild when she talks to you."

"How the hell do I do that? It's a dream, Crona, how am I supposed to know what I'll think and feel ahead of time?"

He handed her a pad and pencil. "Do what I do. Get rid of your bad feelings before you go to sleep. Write a poem."

"...Write a poem," she repeated slowly.

Crona nodded, ripping out a sheet for himself and pulling out an extra pencil._ Wow, this guy's prepared..._

"Here. We can write one together."

She glanced at him as he started writing, eyes fixated on the page. Emily smiled and looked at the notebook pad in her hands.

_Wait, where the hell was he storing this stuff?_

She decided some things were better left unknown, and started trying to write a damn poem.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FORTY-FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Are you done, Emily?" Crona asked politely, having just finished.

Emily was currently staring down at her page as if worried it'd fly away if she weren't watching it carefully enough. "Um..._almost_...what rhymes with turtle?"

Crona sweatdropped. "Not all poems have to rhyme, you know."

"Oh, I know, but rhyming things seems like a bigger hallenge." After a few more moments, she sighed and shrugged. "Oh well. No big deal. Yeah, I guess I'm done."

"Can I read it?"

"After I read yours," she replied cheerfully.

As he held it out to her, hand shaking just a tad, she heard quite a few twigs breaking. She shook her head quickly and held up the poem to try and read it. Right on cue, Soul came running onto the scene before strolling casually as if he hadn't been hauling ass over to them just a few seconds ago.

"Hey guys."

They glanced up at him, and Emily's eyebrows shot up. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"What are you, my mother?"

"No, but does _Maka_ know you're not in school?"

"Of course she does, moron."

"You still haven't answered my question. Why aren't you in school?"

"I felt like cutting, is that a problem?"

"It is when you drag _me _into it, I don't wanna spend more time with you than I have to," she grumbled.

Crona sweatdropped as Soul's eye twitched before he proclaimed rather loudly, "HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I WANNA EAT YOUR SOUL YET?"

"I can't help it that I seem so tasty to you!" she sneered, and his temple throbbed rather largely.

"That's not it, damn witch, keep dreaming. C'mon, it's your day to cook."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Why am I cooking? And so early? What the hell, Soul!"

"You. Heard. Me."

She and Crona exchanged a look, and she sighed. "Well, apparently I've been ordered to go home. BUT NOT BEFORE I TAKE CRONA BACK TO THE DWMA."

"I-It's fine, Emily, you don't have to," he said quickly.

Emily gave him a pleading look, making Soul sweatdrop. "Please, I insist."

"It's fine, I know the way back."

"How could you possibly, I don't even know where we are!"

"He's been here longer than you have," Soul pointed out.

Crona nodded, and her temple throbbed. "...You're _absolutely sure _you know the way back," she asked, every word clipped and her expression clearly reading "Throw me a fricking BONE here!".

"Of course."

"..." She drooped rather comically, lines of depression running down her head. _This guy's just not getting it...!_

She finally straightened, sighed, and let Soul drag her away. "Fiiiine...Bye Crona!" Once they were out of Crona's sight, she stomped on his foot. "Ow," he said dully.

"What the hell was all that back there, huh? I was trying to talk to him about something important!"

"Yeah yeah, I know, tips on Medusa. I was just making sure you didn't screw it up, like you were bound to do. If you did, Maka would have both our heads."

"Maka?"

"She's real..._protective _of Crona."

"She thinks I'll make him all depressed over his mom," she stated after a moment of thought.

"Basically. Besides..." he took Crona's poem out of her hand, making her make a rather unladylike noise of indignation. "I warned you, don't read his poetry. You'll kill yourself."

"Will _not_! Give it back! ...And while you're at it, let go of me, Soul!"

"Will I have to chase you all over the place?"

She huffed. "Of course not." He slowly let go of her arm, and she beamed at him before bolting in the other direction.

"Damn witch, get back here!"

"I am NOT staying in that apartment with you all day!" She got as far as Deathbucks before he caught up and somehow managed to corner her. She didn't feel like wasting her magic on him, so let him talk.

"Who said anything about going back to the apartment?"

Emily eyed him suspiciously. "...Go onnnn..."

He rolled his eyes. "Who cuts class and goes straight home to sit around all day?"

"I do."

"Lemme rephrase. Who cuts class and goes straight home to sit around all day when you've got a perfectly good city to roam and wreack havoc on?"

"Do I really have to cook dinner today?" she asked suspiciously.

He rolled his eyes. "Of course not. I don't want food poisoning."

Emily crossed her arms against her middle with a smirk. "Alrighty then. Havoc and roaming, you say? I'm definitely listening now."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FORTY-THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Okay, there're certain rules you need to know in order to survive this. Rule number one, don't stop running. Rule number two, don't fall. Rule number three, possibly the most important of all – act quickly and NEVER look behind you. ...Ready?"

Emily popped her knuckles ominously as they looked at the sizable building before them. "...Born ready."

They looked at each other, nodded, and bolted towards the door. "ADJUST AND RUUUUUN!" they shouted as Emily made the door fling open of its own accord.

"The hell was that?" they heard Liz ask as they started adjusting as many paintings and objects as they could.

Kid let out a heavy sigh. "Soul, is that y- ...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" he demanded, looking royally pissed.

They didn't stop, and Emily ran upstairs. "I'M ASCEEEENNNDIIIING GALLOWS MANSION!" she announced as she reached the top and started rearranging everything in sight. Some objects she only moved by about two inches, others she put too close together on one side and too far apart on the other, things like that. Soul went to work in the bathrooms upstairs, unraveling the toilet paper in uneven quantities and ripping one of the rolls so the bottom half of the square was dangling limply by a thread.

That was going to drive Kid _crazy_.

Emily had just finished rearranging the floor rugs in one room at completely abstract angles when she heard a couple bangs. "SOOOOUL, EMILY, WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH YOU TWO, I'LL-" The rest of Kid's threat was drowned out as Soul ran and slid down the hall, stopping in the doorway of the room she was in.

"Time to go," he said simply, grabbing her wrist.

"Awww, I was just getting warmed up! Can't we just-" A pinkish bullet-shaped orb zoomed past her, almost hitting her ear.

"Nevermind," she said simply as Kid continued to shout at them from down the hall. "BROOOM!" Emily bellowed as they approached the wide window at the end of the hall.

Which was, of course, entirely symmetrical to the one on the other end of the hall. It wouldn't be for long, though. Her broom hovered just outside the window, and she looked at Soul. "Hey, transform into a scythe real quick."

"What? WHY?"

"So I can look all heroic when I use you to break the window!"

"Are you an idiot? Something tells me our wavelengths wouldn't match, and then he'd catch us for sure!"

Emily huffed and summoned magic around her arm. "Fiiinnne, I'll do it the old-fashioned way," she said with a sigh of defeat before putting her arm in front of her and shattering the window. It was shattered in a rather asymmetrical way, too; it looked like a blob undergoing blood rejection.

"NOOOOOO! YOU DISGUSTING PIGS! HOW COULD YOU, YOU JERKS? DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING, DISGUUUUSTIIING!" Kid bellowed as they flew off. Emily laughed as she steered the broom, weaving in and out of the way of Kid's bullets as they zoomed out of range.

"He's in for a long night," Soul commented with a laugh.

Emily smirked to herself, not even all that concerned with the glass shard stuck in her arm. "That was so evil. It was awesome!"

"He had it comin' after the prank he pulled on _me _last April Fool's."

"What kind of prank would that be?"

"Like I'll tell you," he replied with a scoff, folding his hands behind his head. So of course Emily summoned a tree branch from down below to zoom up and whack him upside the head. Not hard enough to knock him unconscious or anything, of course. Just enough to make a satisfying _**THUNK**_ noise and make him whine "Owww!".

She grinned to herself before locking her legs around the broom, pulling the glass shard out of her arm with a hiss. "Ouuuuch," she muttered, shaking her arm around a couple times.

Soul's temple throbbed. "If you get your witch blood on me, so help me..."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, so you're scared of my blood, huh? How the hell're you gonna kill me then?"

"I'm sure I'll find a way."

She made a sharp nosedive downward, and he grabbed her by the waist spastically. "Jeez, warn a guy next time!"

"Sorry, I got distracted!"

"By what, a squirrel?"

"No! ...Although I _do _like trying to run those things down, preferrably with cars. But I was referring to a very lost-looking Crona."

Soul peered down at where she was looking over her shoulder, making her glare at him. "...What's your problem?"

"Personal space, Soul. You're invading it."

He rolled his eyes and leaned back a little. "Dammit, you'd think after a few months of Death City, he'd have a better idea on how to at least get to and from the DWMA."

"What's a few months got to do with anything? I lived in tons of places for a few months or so, and I never really learned how to get from A to B."

"Well, you're different. _Crona's _got a good sense of direction."

Emily descended even more so they were nearly touching the ground, only a few yards behind Crona. "Well, let's just watch him and be sure."

They watched him wander for a few minutes before Emily squinted and noticed why he was wandering so aimlessly. "...Oh."

"What?"

"He's reading something, looks like my poem. No wonder!"

Soul sweatdropped. "He's been reading this long?"

"Maybe he _hasn't _been reading this long, moron!"

"Well, whatever, we've established he's alright. Can we go now? I'm hungry." Emily rolled her eyes. "You're always hungry."

She roamed back upward and went as slowly as humanly possible. His temple throbbed bigger and bigger in response. "Your soul's startin' to look tastier and tastier."

"Is that a threat or a pick-up line?"

"Most definitely a threat."

She huffed and smirked to herself as she zoomed off at warp-speed. "Fine, Dr. Killjoy! Off we go!"


	10. Cigarettes and Clearance

**Finally back, after who KNOWS how long!**

**I planned on updating this a long time ago, and actually had most of this already written for...um...let's just say A WHILE. ^^;**

**But once I finally gave myself a good mental shake and decided to stop slacking, my cousin got pregnant, school ended, I was busy finishing a side-story for Bleach by Ichigo's birthday, AND THEN I got sick, and just when I had gotten healthy after nearly two months of strep throat off-and-on...my FUCKING spacebar broke.**

**I mean, REALLY?**

**As you can see, it's working now.**

**And so you have another update!**

**Yay!**

**So read, review, and enjoy!**

* * *

"_Let's write a poooo-em, **togeeeether**," Medusa teased in a rather creepy voice before laughing. _

"_Crona's so simple-minded sometimes. He **honestly** **thought** emptying your mind would help you? That's cute. Emily, I know you can hear me. ...I know what you want. It's what you fear. You want that cancer on a stick, don't you? You want a smoke soooo baaaad," she said softly, circling around her._

_She then gripped Emily by the shoulders, hissing into her ear, "Take one. Take it. Give in to what you want. ...I can get you what you want."_

"_...Cigarettes?" Emily wondered with a sweatdrop. She could get those at a gas station, for crying out loud. Was that supposed to be something phenomenal, Medusa getting her cigarettes?_

_Medusa chuckled. "No, you silly girl. I can get you anything your heart desires. A cigarette...power...love...recognition...you could be the greatest witch of your time with my help. You can have it all. All you have to do..." she said casually, her voice already starting to fade away, "...is light up."_

* * *

Emily shot upright, panting, as usual. This time, she was alone in the kitchen. No Blair curled up within eyeshot, no Maka and Soul yelling within _ear_shot.

It was quiet.

Emily looked at the clock and sighed tiredly. No wonder everything was still and silent; it was the middle of the night. She ran a hand through her messy hair, wondering why she was so hungry.

Oh yeah. No one had fixed dinner last night. It had been everyone for themselves, and she hadn't been feeling good and fell asleep before she could fix herself something to eat. Emily sighed again, fully aware she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep very easily, and stood before stretching her hands toward the sky.

She pulled some leftover pizza out of the fridge and bit into a piece. Well, more like she ate half of it in one bite. But it was damn good cold pizza.

Emily was taking the box to the couch and was going to try and read or SOMETHING, but that's when she saw them.

They were on the coffee table, and would have been the first things she saw if she had bothered to look. The whole table was piled with handfuls and handfuls of...cigarette packages. At least 20 cigarettes a pack.

She felt her pulse quicken, her fingers twitching towards them. She wanted that familiar slim stick inbetween her two fingers, she wanted to suck in that deliciously horrible smoke, she wanted to make cool shapes as it billowed out from between her lips.

She wanted, wanted, wanted. Emily suddenly realized she went so far as to have one package cradled in her hands like a lost treasure.

Her hands trembled, and she dropped it with a tiny noise of surprise. "All you have to do is light up," she muttered to herself.

She couldn't. She was _quitting_. Smoking was terrible for her health, and it was good for nothing but bad memories and lung cancer. Not to mention it was yet another reminder of the one time she fully trusted Apples's taste in magic...the one time she turned dark...

That was more than enough reason not to smoke. And yet she found herself picking the package back up and taking a cigarette out, rolling it between her fingers almost affectionately, her eyes wide with longing.

She felt like crying, she wanted it so bad. In fact, the tears were starting to prick her eyes, threatening to spill over. Quitting had been extremely hard for her, even _with_ using witch methods. Now it was ten times harder, what with all these cigarettes practically _begging_ to be put into her mouth.

"Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?" Blair asked suddenly, making her jump so bad that she shouted in surprise and rammed into the table.

A groan was heard right after her own, and she sighed. Great, she'd woken Soul up. And possibly Maka, judging from the heavy sigh and position-shifting she heard coming from the meister's room.

Blair cocked her head, looking at the coffee table. "Where'd you find the MONEY for all those?"

Soul was out of his room in an instant, looking pissed. "You stole _more_ of my money?" he demanded to know. Emily was too busy getting angry over the cigarettes to even _bother_ with that statement.

As her mom would say, the honeymoon period was over. Now she was pissed the damn Cancer-On-Sticks were back in front of her.

She pointed a finger at the boxes angrily. "Where'd you get these?"

He blinked. "Me?"

"Yes, YOU. Who else would get these just to torment me? Where'd you get these? Huh? WHERE'D YOU FIND THE _TIME_ TO GET ALL THESE?"

"I didn't get _anything_."

"THEN WHO THE HELL _GOT _THESE? _WHO_ GOT THEM? _WHO_?" she demanded, random things flying off their shelves. Most of them hitting Soul in various places including the face. One grazed Blair's tail, and she turned into her human form with a yowl, clothed in some flimsy dark purple nightgown.

"Cool it before you bring the whole apartment down!" she said quickly, walking towards her.

Emily was panting at this point, staring grudgingly at the cigarette boxes. "Where'd these come from? Where'd they _come from_, Blair?" she asked pathetically, voice squeaking.

Blair put a hand on Emily's shoulder, and her brows furrowed. "...Emily, you're shaking. Are you alright?"

"DO I _LOOK_ ALRIGHT? SOMEONE _PLEASE_ JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!" she shouted, blinking quickly as angry tears sprang back up. She realized the cigarette was still in her hand, and had to force herself to set it down.

"I...never realized I sucked so badly at quitting," she muttered to herself. Blair put an arm around her shoulders, guiding her towards the door. "Let's get you some fresh air, alright?" she said gently.

That made Emily feel worse, and on top of that, she could feel Soul's eyes boring into her back as she shook her head quickly. "No, I don't think that's a good idea. There's probably more cigarettes lying around out there somewhere. I think I'll just...um...sleep in the hallway? The hallway was free of cigarettes, right?"

Soul sighed and shook his head. "You're stupid, witch."

Blair rolled her eyes. "I'm sure that makes her feel _so_ much better. I'll be right back, we've gotta have a broom or dustpan _somewhere_ around here. Or better yet, a trash bag!"

And with that, the girl bounded off, leaving Emily alone with Soul.

His tone was less hostile than she had expected. It was more curiously thoughtful than anything. "You smoke."

Emily nodded. "Used to. I thought it was a good way to let out frustrations instead of cutting or something like that. Seemed reasonable at the time." That last statement made her laugh at her past stupidity.

"For how long?"

"Hmm...since my second foster home, so I guess...two weeks after I got put in the system. Huh. Almost two years. I've been off 'em for almost a year."

Emily then shook her head. "Medusa...she did this...she said..."

"She said...?" he prompted.

"She mentioned my habit. She said she could give me everything I wanted if I just...'lit up'. Obviously, she was referring to smoking."

"You don't actually _believe_ her, do you? You're stupider than I thought."

Emily's temple throbbed. "NO, of course I don't! I just...wish she wasn't so damn persistent." Soul moved towards her, which worried her a little. He grabbed her wrist and pried the cigarette package out of her hand, which worried her even more. Scared her, actually.

_Are these just mysteriously popping into my hand? I seriously don't remember grabbing that..._

The confusion must've been written on her face, because his expression softened just a little as he slowly let go of her wrist. "You picked it up while you were talking."

Emily let out a frustrated sigh, throwing up her hands and flopping onto the couch tiredly. Doing so caused an object to fly into Soul's gut, and he groaned. She laughed, unable to stop herself. "Sorry," she said between laughs.

After a few moments, he held up a cigarette packet. "Make the windows open over there."

"What? _Why_?"

"Just do it."

She sighed and flicked her hand towards the wide living room window, making both of them slide open. Soul then held out his hand. She eyed him suspiciously, but took it anyway. He pulled her up into a standing position with ease, then opened her hand and put the package in it.

"I can't-"

He curled her fingers around the box, making her shut up. "Stop talking."

He picked another one off the table and wordlessly chucked it out the window. He waited for it to fall to the street before looking at her expectantly. "Your turn."

She stared at him for a second in disbelief, and he blinked at her. "Well? You just gonna stare at me all night? Toss it."

Emily made a rather immature face at him before turning toward the windows, rearing back her hand with the package in it, and chucking it out the window like he had. She grinned triumphantly as it took longer to hit the ground, and he sighed with a shake of the head before picking up another one. "Well, I can't have you showing me up. Guess we'll have to keep tossing these and see who gets them the farthest with each round. After they're all gone, whoever won the most rounds wins. Cool?"

He tossed her one, and she caught it, turning back to the windows and letting her hair fall over the side of her face that was angled towards him so he wouldn't see her smile. "...Cool."

_I never thought I'd say this, even in my head, but...thank you._

* * *

Blair watched the two morons chuck cigarette packages out the window and shout over who got the farthest for a good five minutes, trash bags in hand, before turning away from the sight.

She smiled and wordlessly crept into the kitchen to put the trash bags in a more appropriate place than the bathroom, which was where she had found it. On her way back to Soul's room, she encountered Maka in the hallway.

The young meister rubbed her eyes and blinked at her with a yawn. "Hey. What's with all the noise?"

Blair just smiled and pointed around the corner. She watched Maka trudge over there, looking like she was walking to her death.

Blair took great pleasure in watching her expression change, and Maka crept back to where the cat-girl was. "...Oh. I see. One of those rare moments in which neither of them are killing each other?"

"Yep! So go back to sleep!" Blair said cheerfully, returning to her usual cheerful self as she turned back into her cat form and trotted to Soul's room. In her head, however, she was remembering that séance.

She remembered Medusa quite well, and had been looking forward to never having to hear about her again once the Kishin was destroyed. But if things kept going the way they were going, that wouldn't be the case at all.

Blair sighed and stretched with a yawn, hopping into Soul's bed to hide under the covers next to where he always slept, hoping to get a good scare out of him whenever he went back to bed.

"I've got a bad feeling about all this."

* * *

The next morning, Emily was _not_ a force to be reckoned with. Even after Soul had went to bed, she stayed up lying awake and thinking about how to get out of this mess before it got worse.

Maka was the first to wake up, as always, and trudged sleepily into the kitchen to pour herself some cereal; she was too tired to make breakfast this morning, apparently. Emily watched her from the kitchen table, blinking as Maka slowly processed she wasn't alone for once in the morning.

"...Wow, Emily, you're up this early? Something wrong?"

Emily crossed her arms, sitting at the table with some toast she'd nibbled on. "Didn't sleep. But it's alright, I've got a plan now."

"Plan for what?"

"For getting Medusa outta my head...and for going home eventually. There's gotta be a way to make it stop, and I know exactly what I have to do!" she declared triumphantly, making Maka sweatdrop as she abruptly slammed her hands against the table and stood up with her hands on her hips.

"I MUST MASTER MY TELEPORTATION SPELL, GO HOME, AND _THEN_ I CAN LOOK UP THE ANSWERS!" she announced, striking a pose on top of the table.

"OI, witch, make stupid plans a little later in the day...like when I'm not here," Soul grumbled from his room before rolling over and snoring again a few moments later.

Maka's sweatdrops increased. "Emily...why couldn't you just look up the answers here? I'm sure the library at the DWMA has books on witches, you just need clearance."

"Clearance?"

"Yeah, for books not open to the public...the ones open to the public usually contain stuff we all already know...HEY, you could ask Kid, I'm sure he wouldn't mind! He's got clearance, being Lord Death's son!" Maka said cheerfully, shuffling into the kitchen to fix some cereal like she'd planned as Emily stood frozen in her stupid pose on top of the table, eye starting to twitch.

"K...K...Kid? I need help from HIM, whom I pranked yesterday? ...Wait..._wait_...WAIT, I PRANKED DEATH'S SON? I FORGOT HE WAS DEATH'S SON! Agh, FUUUUU-"

"GODDAMMIT, BLAIR!" Soul exclaimed suddenly, cutting Emily off abruptly. She watched as he fell through the door to his room, Blair on top of him in a bikini, clear skin glistening and purple hair shimmering.

"Gooood morning, Soul!" she said cheerfully, rubbing her boobs in his face and making even Emily flush, despite her still-twitching eye.

"...Well...I'm off to make myself as symmetrical as possible," Emily grumbled, stomping off to the bathroom.

"SOUUUUUUL!"

"Maka, you've gotta be kidding me, NOT A MAKA-CHOP-"

"Makaaaa-CHOP!"

_**BAM!**_

"NOT COOL, MAKA, NOT COOL!"


End file.
